Download Liking and Loving Others - Social Psychology - Lecture Slides and more Slides Social Psychology in PDF only on Docsity! Social Psychology Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving Others • What leads to friendship and attraction? • What is love? • What enables close relationships? • How do relationships end? docsity.com Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving Others • Need to Belong: A motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing, positive interactions. • Ostracism: Acts of excluding or ignoring. – Often used as social punishment. – Leads to multiple negative outcomes including self- defeating behaviors, an inability to regulate behaviors, and aggression. docsity.com • If we simply recognize a brand, we will judge it more positively. – Researchers asked people to pick which of two airlines to fly on, one familiar, one unfamiliar. • People overwhelmingly chose the familiar. • Even after adding three troubling pieces of information, such as accidents, 67% still chose the familiar company. • One goal of advertising is to blitz us with a name so many times that it unconsciously triggers the recognition heuristic. – Children definitely preferred the taste of food in McDonalds wrappers over the same food in plain wrappers. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Mere Exposure docsity.com Variability in Bases of Attraction What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness docsity.com What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Attractiveness and Dating • A woman’s attractiveness is a good predictor of how often she dates but a man’s attractiveness only predicts dating frequency modestly. • Women tend to promote their attractiveness when seeking a date but tend look for men of high status. – Evolutionary explanation docsity.com What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Average Features •People perceive faces with averagely proportioned features to be more attractive than faces that deviate from average. –Average features are less likely to contain genetic abnormalities. •Further, we can process any kind of stimuli that is closer to a prototype than one that is further from a prototype. –Easy processing is associated with a pleasant feeling that gets interpreted as attractive. docsity.com • Typically, if you take a series of photos of faces and create a composite of them, the composite photo will be viewed as more attractive than approximately 95% of photos that make up the composite. – One study created some composite photos of Caucasians, East Asians, and Eurasians (people with one European and one Asian parent). – Further composites were made of the composites across races. – Participants then viewed these composite faces, and rated them for attractiveness. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness docsity.com vwCauc —S—- Cauc75/Asian25
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What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness The Matching Phenomenon • Matching Phenomenon: The tendency for men and women to choose as partners those who are a ―good match‖ in attractiveness and other traits. • However, if one is more attractive, they might bring more to the relationship in other ways. docsity.com What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness The Physical Attractiveness Stereotype • Physical Attractiveness Stereotype: The presumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits as well: What is beautiful is good. • Even 3-month olds who have not yet been influenced by television prefer to look at attractive faces. docsity.com What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Who is Attractive? • Though there may be some ―universal‖ rules of attractiveness, most characteristics of attractiveness are culturally based. – In cultures where food is scarce, plumpness is attractive, but when food is plentiful, skinniness is attractive. – In various cultures people (mostly women!) have stretched their necks, bound their feet, dyed their hair, and painted their skin. – Ironically, ―true‖ beauty seems to come from having a perfectly ―average‖ face. • Study with Miss Germany, 2002 docsity.com What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Liking Those Who Like Us • ―The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs.‖ » Marlene Dietrich • Ingratiation: The use of strategies, such as flattery, by which people seek to gain another’s favor. – Works particularly well for people with low self-esteem, its like their egos are ―hungry‖ for the flattery. – Constant praise and flattery however, loses its potential relational impact. docsity.com What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Relationship Rewards • Reward Theory of Attraction: The theory that we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate with rewarding events. docsity.com •Romantic love appears to be an evolutionary adaptation to ensure that human children, who have the longest period of dependence of any species, had adequate resources and protection in the ancestral environment. •Romantic love appears to be found everywhere - 89% of subsistence societies have shown clear support of it, and it’s likely that it exists in the remaining 11%. –Despite the apparent universality in feelings of romantic love, the notion that a marriage is based on romantic love is not universally shared, and has probably been a minority view in the context of human history. –Arranged marriages have been common, and still are, in many cultures of the world. What is Love? docsity.com What is Love?
Marriage
Mate Selection Practices Among Pre-industrial Societies
Men Women
Parents choose partner; individual cannot object 13% 21%
Parents choose partner; individual can object 17% 23%
Individual choice and arranged marriages are both acceptable alternatives 18% 17%
Individuals, parents, kin, and others must reach agreement 3% 3%
on an appropriate match
Individual selects partner autonomously: parental, kin, 19% 29%
and/or community approval necessary or highly desirable
Individual selects partner autonomously: approval by others unnecessary 31% 8%
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What is Love? Marriage • Cousin Marriage – Forbidden in some cultures – Preferred in some cultures – Various definitions of what is a cousin docsity.com What is Love? Marriage • Marriage often involves a series of gift/monetary exchanges between the bride’s and groom’s family • The wedding: range from very simple to highly elaborate and expensive – weddings ―crystallize‖ and highlight cultural meanings of the marital relationship and gender roles docsity.com What Is Love? Companionate Love • Companionate Love: The affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined. ―When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.‖ George Bernard Shaw docsity.com Measuring Love
Measuring 6 Basic Styles of Love
Measuring Six Basic Styles of Love
Listed below are sample items from Hendrick and Hendrick's love scale, which
was designed to measure the six styles of love identified by Lee (1977, 1988).
Read through the various items and think about your current or past
relationships. Which style or styles characterize each of these
relationships? According to Lee, people could experience many different
styles of love during their lives.
Eros
1. My lover and | were attracted to each other immediately after we first met.
2. Our lovemaking is very intense and satisfying.
3. My lover fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.
Ludus
1. Itry to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her.
2. Ihave sometimes had to keep two of my lovers from finding out about each
other.
| enjoy playing the "game of love" with a number of different partners.
urce: Adapted from C. Hendrick & S. Hendrick, 1986. docsity.com
Eros (erotic)—passionate, romantic love • Erotic lovers fall in love early in a relationship. • Love is very intense and passionate. • The erotic lover wants to share everything with and know everything about the loved one. • The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an idealized manner. • The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from his/her partner is one of hurt and intense pain. • The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the partner is agony and despair. docsity.com Storge (storgic)—love as friendship or companionship • Storge love develops slowly. • It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport, respect, companionship, sharing, and concern. • It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy and excitement, but is a solid, stable, enduring love. • Reaction to criticism from partner—give and take, compromise, constructive problem solving. • Reaction to separation—feelings of emptiness and loss. docsity.com Pragma—is a very pragmatic or practical approach to love • It is very logical and realistic. • Pragmatic lovers are self-oriented. • Their reaction to criticism from the partner— defensive, analytical. docsity.com Measuring Love
Measuring 6 Basic Styles of Love
Measuring Six Basic Styles of Love
Listed below are sample items from Hendrick and Hendrick's love scale, which
was designed to measure the six styles of love identified by Lee (1977, 1988).
Read through the various items and think about your current or past
relationships. Which style or styles characterize each of these
relationships? According to Lee, people could experience many different
styles of love during their lives.
Mania
1. Sometimes | get so excited about being in love that | can't sleep.
2. When | am in love, | have trouble concentrating on anything else.
3. If my lover ignores me for a while, | sometimes do stupid things
to get his/her attention back.
Agape
1. |would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer.
2. | cannot be happy unless | place my lover's happiness before my own.
| would endure all things for the sake of my lover.
3 ource: Adapted from C. Hendrick & S. Hendrick, 1986. docsity.com
head lines
Separation
Anxiety for Adults
Why it hurts to be away
from your partner
Everyone knows it’s no fun to be away
from your significant other. Studies us-
ing anecdotal evidence have indicated
that long-term separation from a ro-
mantic partner can lead to increased
anxiety and depression as well as prob-
lems such as sleep disturbances. Now
researchers are identifying the neuro-
chemical mechanisms behind these be-
havioral and physiological effects.
Ina study published last fall,
researchers showed that male prairie
voles that had been separated from
their female partners for four days—a
much shorter amount of separation
time than researchers had previously
found to affect the voles’ physiology—
exhibited depressionlike behavior and
had increased levels of corticosterone,
the rodent equivalent of the human
stress hormone cortisol. Males that had
been separated from their male siblings
did not display any of these symptoms,
mplying the response was tied specific-
ally to mate separation, not just social
isolation, When the animals received a
drug that blocked corticosterone re-
lease, they no longer exhibited depres
sionlike behavior following partner
. confirming that stress hor-
gt the root of the response.
. Separation appears to
Love in the Brain
resemble drug withdrawal. Studies have
shown that in monogamous animals,
cohabiting and mating increase levels
of oxytocin and vasopressin—hormones
that foster emotional attachments—and
activate brain areas associated with
reward. Asa result, when prairie voles
are separated from their partners even
for a short time, they experience
withdrawal-like symptoms, says Larry
Young, a behavioral neuroscientist at
Emory University’s Yerkes National
Primate Research Center and co-author
of the study. “In the short term, I think
[this mechanism] creates an aversive
state so that the animals want to seek
out their partner to hold that bond
together,” Young says.
Ina recent study of human couples,
social psychologist Lisa Diamond of
the University of Utah observed minor
withdrawal-like symptoms, such as
irritability and sleep disturb:
ces,
along with an increase in cortisol in
subjects after they were separated four
to seven days. Participants who repor
ted high anxiety about their relation-
ships had the biggest spikes in cortisol
levels, but even thcse who reported low
levels of stress and anxiety during the
separation exhibited some degree of
increased cortisol and physical
discomfort. These results, like those
from Young's study, indicate a specific
link between separation and increased
cortisol, implying cortisol-blocking
drugs may benefit 2eople struggling to
cope with partner separation, toc
Researchers believe the pair bond
evolved from the parent-child bond,
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Love in Neurochemistry
Key players in pair bonding, these molecule
are also involved in a range of other, better
studied brain and pody functions:
Dopamine: motor function.
reward (from pleasurable
stimuli such as food and sex)
Oxytocin: lactation and
childbirth; feelings of trust
and affection
Vasopressin: feelings of trust
and affection; but helps to
activate the brain's stress
response, whereas oxytocin
x exerts a calming effect
which may explain why we feel romantic
attachments so strongly, The same
neurochemicals—oxytocin, vasopressin
and dopamine—have been implicated in
both relationships, and the behavioral
patterns associated with parental and
romantic bond formation and separation
are also similar, “We think about
parent-child relationships and adult ro-
mantic relationships as being funda-
mentally different,” Diamond explains,
“butt really boils down to the same
functional purpose: creating a psycho-
logical drive to be near the other person,
to want to take care of them, and being
resistant to being separated from them.
Future studies about romantic
attachment will focus on using the
findings from research such as Young's
and Diamond's to develop new treat-
ments for grief associated with partner
separation or loss and for disorders that
involve social deficits, such as schizo
phrenia and autism. Erica Westly
docsity.com
Expression of Affection • Public expression of affection is definitely subject to cultural differences. • Even smiling is culturally determined. docsity.com What is Love? Love Languages • The Five Languages of Love – Words of Affirmation – Quality Time – Receiving Gifts – Acts of Service – Physical Touch • Each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked after taking the love language profile. docsity.com What is Love? Love Languages Receiving Gifts • Actions – Visual Symbols of Love – Purchased or Made – Your Own Presence and Availability to Your spouse • Reactions – Demonstrates You Care – Represents the Value of Your Relationship docsity.com What is Love? Love Languages Acts of Service • Actions – Freely Given – Freely Received – Completed as Requested • Reactions – Creates a Sense of Importance for the Other – Heals Wounds – Creates a Sense of Sharing in Life Together docsity.com What is Love? Love Languages Physical Touch • Actions – A Small Touch – A Kiss – Holding Each Other • Reactions – A Sense of Being Cared for – A Sense of Communication – A Sense of Feeling Safe docsity.com Biologically Programmed to L
RECOGNITION
Baby in the Brain
ction in
big bright eyes—the characteristics of a
baby's face are thought to provoke nurturing and affection-
ate behavior in adults. New research suggests that a re-
ward area of the brain initiates this response.
Neuroscientist Morten L. Kringelbach of the University of
Oxford and his colleagues asked 12 adults, nine of whom
were childless, to complete a computer task while infant and
adult faces—comparable in expression and attractiveness—
flashed onto the screen. The researchers captured the par-
ticipants’ neural responses with magnetoencephalography,
an imaging technique that directly detects brain activity in
milliseconds. (In contrast, the imaging workhorse fMRI mea-
sures changes in blood flow, an indirect indication of brain
activity, in seconds.)
Although the volunteers ultimately processed the faces
Cory arom tat-m o]e- liam ee) -d (ela tgr-l ence otia le] MUl-lale | oe-1e (ene toh) aero ||
the participants showed an early, distinct response to the
infant faces alone. Within one seventh of a second, a spike
in activity occurred in the medial orbitofrontal cortex, an area
ove the eye sockets linked to the detection of rewarding
This activity appears to “tag” infant faces as special,
pach says.
ve our Children?
The study offers clues as to why parents with postpartum
depression are less responsive to their infants, Kringelbach
adds. He speculates that depressed moms are “not getting
this special signal” from the medial orbitofrontal cortex
because of its connection to another brain area that is
implicated in depression. as Oe)
docsity:com
What Enables Close Relationships? Attachment • Harlow’s Surrogate Mother Experiments – Monkeys preferred contact with the comfortable cloth mother, even while feeding from the nourishing wire mother. docsity.com What Enables Close Relationships? Attachment • Monkeys raised by artificial mothers were terror-stricken when placed in strange situations without their surrogate mothers. docsity.com What Enables Close Relationships? Equity • Equity: A condition in which the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it. Equitable outcomes need not always be equal outcomes. docsity.com What Enables Close Relationships? Self-Disclosure • Self-Disclosure: Revealing intimate aspects of oneself to others. – In deep relationships, trust replaces anxiety. • Disclosure Reciprocity: The tendency for one person’s intimacy of self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner. • Through disclosure in a love relationship, the selves of the partners begin to overlap, I become part of you and you become part of me. docsity.com How Do Relationships End? Divorce • Individualistic countries have a higher divorce rate than collectivistic countries. – Individualists often put more pressure on a relationship to provide passion and personal fulfillment. – Collectivists more worried about what other people will think. – Narcissists have high divorce rates. docsity.com