Communication in Relationships: Key Concepts and Examples, Exams of Communication and Development studies

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CMS 315M Exam 1 Correct Questions &

Answers Latest Update 2024

Content Level - ANSWER What the message actually communicates - the behaviors a message communicates ex: "I will be at ur house in 5 min" content indicates I am on my way to your house Relationship Level - ANSWER Tells us how to interpret the content & may contain some important relationship info. ex: "I will be at ur house in 5 min" but tone if voice is filled with sarcasm - relationship lvl communicates there is not way I'm coming to your house soon Nonverbal - ANSWER stern look, warm handshake, short voice, standing close to someone while talking Verbal - ANSWER when you're talking to professor vs. talking to a friend (you talk to them different ways) 3 occasions we tune in highly to relationship messages: - ANSWER 1. Message Drastically Violates our Expectations - a friend ignores you; a stranger greets u with a kiss on the lips

2. Relationship Characterized by High Levels of Intensity - a couple thats breaking up will be highly tunes in to communication about the relationship
3. Disagreements and Conflicts arise People tend to talk directly about relationships in terms of...(11 ways) - ANSWER 1. Work - the effort involved, sacrifices, energy needed
4. Commitment - commitment associated with relationships, the commitment need to start and sustain relationships
5. Involvement - its reflected in such things as time spent together, the quantity/quality of the talk, sharing
6. Unique/Special - ppl talk about how their relationship is unique or special
7. Manipulation - it's the control of one's partner for one's own gain
8. Consideration/Respect
9. Journey of Discovery - ppl talk about their relationships as a developing journey of discovery
10. As a Game
11. As Risky and Potentially Dangerous
12. As Uncontrollable Forces
13. As a System of Bargaining and Tradeoffs Involvement: Communal Themes - ANSWER talk about togetherness, interdependence

Involvement: Individual Themes - ANSWER talk emphasizing separate identities and roles Involvement: Impersonal Themes - ANSWER factors/forces outside the marriage which are believed responsible for shaping it 5 Misconceptions of Communication: - ANSWER Assumption of...

1. Consistency - assume something means same thing in all situations & all ppl are same (not likely) ex: Hook em symbol not same every where else
2. Simple Meaning - said something so they must have rlly meant it, assume saying it once means it's extremely imp (always) ex: saying u like something once & friend buys u a CD and it isn't special to u
3. Communicator Independence - assume we don't affect how others are going to comm. w/ us - comm is INTERDEPENDENT ex: blaming probs on some1 when both parties responsible 4.Obvious Causation - assuming u know the cause of something - jumping to conclusions hastily ex:"u cant fool me - i know why u said that" 5.Finality - u assume u can end comm. - most relationships/comm cannot be truly "finished" ex: divorce doesn't end relationship/comm permanently 8 Dimensions of Communication - ANSWER 1. Narrow-Broad - start with few topics & as relationship expands variety in topics expand ex: first date topics vs couple's topics
4. Public-Personal - start by understanding public personality(known by all) then grow to learn more private aspects of person ex: more open in a long-term relationship
5. Stylized-Unique - don't know someone well, interactions are typical and not special; bffs interact in unique ways ex: "Bro" handshake 4.Difficult - Efficient - words unspoken/actions performed & someone able to understand underlying message ex: look at a friend certain way & they know u wanna leave a party
6. Rigid-Flexible - more est. relation. provides more ways of comm. (physical or verbal cues) ex: can contact close friend but not rando. classmate
7. Awkward-Smooth - if know some1 well interaction more smooth (MESHING) ex: convo w/ stranger on first day of class vs. convo with BFF
8. Hesitant-Spontaneous - initial interactions are hesitant; w/ someone close they're spontaneous ex: not willing to share sexual fantasies w/ stranger

8. Overt Judgement Suspended-Overt Judgement Given - if don't know some1 well won't state judgements; if u know some1 well will let them know if something's odd ex: can tell a friend they look a mess but not a stranger Frequent fluctuation over time on many dimensions of communication may be the best indicator of _________. - ANSWER instability Empathetic Accuracy - ANSWER ability to accurately infer content of partner's thought and feelings *increases as a close relationship developes Personalized Communication - ANSWER As relation become more intimate, comm becomes more personalized:

• telling someone things we wouldn't tell most ppl - secrets, feelings, personal things
• relying on greater variety of channels for sending/receiving messages
• using messages that are more personal to the pair Synchronized Communication - ANSWER As relation become more intimate, ppl perceive comm behavior to become more synchronized: -conversations that are smooth flowing, effortless, spontaneous, relaxed, informal, well coordinated Difficult Communication - ANSWER Both intimate and non-intimate relations have elements of difficulties to effective comm.
• a general strain, difficulty, awkwardness of interaction Lauren and matt just had their first big fight. Lauren says, "I can't believe this, I didn't do anything wrong." Example of? - ANSWER Assumption of Communicator Independence (assume we don't affect how others are going to comm. w/ us - blame probs on someone else) A relationship is growing, what style of communication may be forming? - ANSWER Broad (start with few topics & as relationship expands variety in topics expand) _________, deals with Awkward-Smooth dimension of communication - ANSWER Meshing (if know someone well interaction more smooth) Jack/Jill know each other's communication styles. They know specific actions that represent words (understand underlying messages) Example of? - ANSWER Difficult-Efficient dimension of communication

(words unspoken/actions performed & someone able to understand underlying message) Friends that were once close but then moved away from each other. Then they bump into each other at the store 5 years later and are a bit awkward. What time of dimension of communication is this? - ANSWER Stylized-Unique (don't know someone well, interactions are typical and not special) Bill/Jill flirt in class and Bill decides to call Jill and ask her on a date. She's very cold and unwilling to go out over the phone. What kind of assumption did he make? - ANSWER Assumption of Consistency - he thought shed be the same over the phone as she was in class (assume something means same thing in all situations & all ppl are same) Becca originally just smiles to Bob to show that she was happy with a situation. As their relationship grew, she began to call him boo and get touchier when she was showing happiness. What kind of dimension is this? - ANSWER Rigid-Flexible - she created more actions to communicate her happiness (more est. relationship provides more ways of communication - physical or verbal cues) Michelle asks her long term boyfriend to shave for the meeting with her family although she had never said that his beard bothered her in the beginning. What kind of dimension is this? - ANSWER Overt Judgement Suspended - Overt Judgement Given - she became comfortable enough to let him know his beard was not acceptable for his meeting with her parents (if don't know some1 well won't state judgements; if u know some1 well will let them know if something's odd) Expectations for relationships - ANSWER comm. is central to est. & maintaining relationship expectations. Overt communication only gives a partial glimpse into relationships; there is often more under the surface Relational Dynamics - ANSWER relationships exist on a dynamic between intimacy and non-intimacy (superficiality) The model of interaction stages in relationships - ANSWER 1. Coming together - 5 phases that describe the process of becoming more intimate

2. Coming apart - 5 phases that describe the process of rational degeneration

Assumptions about the model of interaction stages - ANSWER 1. it's descriptive - not prescriptive. Coming together together isn't necessarily good and coming apart not necessarily bad

2. it simplifies a complex process -coming together stage: overt behavior indicates lvl relationship desires to be in -stable relationship: overt behavior doesn't show lvl of relationship (small talk btw strong couple)
3. it's relevant for mixed & same gender relationships
4. it's relevant for voluntary & involuntary relationships
5. it's closely related w/ dimensions of communication (presented ch1) What are the five stages of coming together? - ANSWER 1. Initiating - present selves to one another
6. Experimenting - find out what you have in common
7. Intensifying - telling more of ur secrets
8. Integrating - two individual personalities fuse 2gether
9. Bonding - marriage/engagement Coming together: Initiating - ANSWER -process of first coming together -communicators trying to display pleasantness/likability -in observing other, our conscious awareness is low -Specific messages vary with:
   1. the relationship & frequency of initiating
   2. time u have for interaction
   3. time since last greeting (messages shorter as time btw greetings gets smaller)
   4. situational & normative constraints (need to be quiet in library)
   5. special codes for particular groups (sorority greetings) Coming together: Experimenting - ANSWER -process of discovering the unknown-trying to find common interest/experience (SMALL TALK) -3 bases for interpersonal encounters
   6. cultural (racial profiling)
   7. sociological (social group)
   8. psychological (personality) -Spend a lot of time experimenting

• Functions of small talk
  1. uncover integrating topics
  2. audition for future friendship
  3. safe procedure for indicating who we are
  4. maintain sense of community -Most relationships don't progress beyond this stage Which stage of coming together do most relationships not progress past? - ANSWER The experimenting stage (small talk - get to know each other)

Coming together: Intensifying - ANSWER -process reaching "close friend" status - more participation and awareness of process -ask for favor ("can i talk to u about something?") & amt of personal disclosure increases -Verbally many things happen in this phase:

1. informal addressing
2. use of We vs. I
3. verbal shortcuts based on shared experiences
4. more direct expressions of commitment
5. act as a helper in understanding what ur partner is all about (holding hands) -nonverbal message transmission increases Coming together: Integrating - ANSWER -two individual personalities fuse together "COUPLING" -many forms of verbal/nonverbal manifestations or integrating -integrating doesn't mean complete togetherness or loss of individuality Forms of verbal/nonverbal manifestations: - ANSWER 1. Attitudes, opinions, interests, and tastes are cultivated
6. Social circles merge - the 2 individuals are treated as a package
7. Pictures, pins, rings exchanged so each can wear the others identity
8. social network profiles represent the coupling
9. similarities in manner, dress, verbal behavior
10. physical penetration of body parts
11. common property designated "our song"
12. empathetic processes peak
13. body rhythms/routines synchronize
14. love of 3rd person/object acts as glue for relationship (love me, love my rhino collection) Coming together: Bonding - ANSWER -Public ritual that announces publicly that commitments have been formally contracted (marriage, engagement) -may be a powerful force in changing the nature of the relationship *few relationships hit this stage What stage of coming together do few relationships hit? - ANSWER Bonding What are the 5 stages of coming apart? - ANSWER 1. Differentiation - become distinct in character "UNCOUPLING"
15. Circumscribing - restrict comm to avoid conflict
16. Stagnating - efforts to comm are at a standstill
17. Avoiding - physically avoiding/moving away from person or situation
18. Terminating - officially ending a relationship Coming Apart: Differentiating - ANSWER -uncoupling -individual diff. are major focus (notice how u aren't alike)

-"We" goes back to "I" -most visible comm. in form or fighting/conflict Coming Apart: Circumscribing - ANSWER -information exchange quality/quantity dec. -less breath and depth ("don't ask me about that") -has an impact on social performances (hold it together when around other ppl) Coming Apart: Stagnating - ANSWER -many areas closed off, comm at standstill -participants are "marking time" in the relationship -no topic of substance b/c know it will cause a fight -may engage in imagined dialogue "i know what he'll say Coming Apart: Avoiding - ANSWER -physically avoiding/moving away from partner -messages may contain unfriendliness & lack time/energy to pursue relationship -Distancing occurs through:

1. avoidance
2. disengagement
3. cognitive dissassociation Coming Apart: Terminating - ANSWER -end of relationship -characterized by messages of distance & disassociation

distance: attempts to put physical/psychological barriers up disassociation: preparing other for life apart -Termination dialogue:

1. a summary: "We've been friend a long time..."
2. behavior signaling impending termination
3. the future statement distancing occurs through? (3 ways) - ANSWER 1. avoidance
4. disengagement
5. cognitive dissassociation Dialectical Theory - ANSWER change occurs as we strive to balance the inevitable tensions in relational life ~Integration-Seperation: smothering vs ignoring ~Expression-Nonexpression: how much u show vs hide ~Stability-Change: you know what they order Social Exchange Theories - ANSWER -Contend that a) in relationships we constantly exchange resources b) the resources are evaluated as rewarding or not c) ppl tend to seek things that are rewarding -Rules that govern exchange equity: what u get=what u put in equality rule: each partner perceived as getting/benefiting equally need-based rule: exchange resources in response to partners needs

-Rewards & costs: are rewards worth the cost Movement is generally ______ and ________ - ANSWER systematic & sequential Movement may be _________ or _________ - ANSWER forward (move together) or backward (move apart) True or False: Movement occurs within stages - ANSWER True True or False: Movement is always to an old place - ANSWER False; a new place True or False: The rate of movement varied depending on the relationship - ANSWER True; the rate you go through the stages depends on the relationship Tina and Bill have been in a relationship a while. Bill asks Tina, "Will you marry me?" What stage of relationship interaction is this? - ANSWER Bonding (public RITUAL announces that commitments have been formally contracted) Frank and Mary decide they should move in together. What stage of relationship interaction is this? - ANSWER Integrating (coupling - becoming like a package) Lisa and Linda met at a bar. Lisa asks linda questions like "What do you like to do?" "Do you like dancing?" What stage of relationship interaction is this? - ANSWER Experiments (getting to know them on a more personal level - small talk) Bob and Sue have been dating for a while. Sue tells Bob, "This is where i am not like you at all" What stage of relationship interaction is this? - ANSWER Differentiating (focusing on how different both ppl are) Inclusion - ANSWER the need to be included The influence of interpersonal needs is tied to what 3 things? - ANSWER Inclusion, Control, Affection Extroverts are associated with strong/weak inclusion needs? - ANSWER Strong; tend to be socially active and have strong social support networks & have more pleasant emotions Introverts are associated with strong/weak inclusion needs? - ANSWER Weak; tend to be seen as reserved and serious

What are the behaviors that introverts show in the presence of others? - ANSWER silence, speech errors, rapid & short statements, initiation convos with "I'm sorry, I cant stay long", Hedging ("well I'd sorta like to go.."), presenting large # of conflicting engagements prohibiting inclusion in activities True or False: We move along a continuum of high/low exclusion needs - ANSWER True True or False: Labels make it hard to change patterns & some have trouble forming social relationships b/c they may view themselves as unable to do so - ANSWER True Control - ANSWER need to have control of your life Verbal indicators of control: - ANSWER interrupt ppl a lot, don't listen to what others are saying, may talk more and go on for a longer time, talk louder, talk faster, change subject to what they want to talk about, name drop, talk about themselves, give commands Nonverbal indicators of control - ANSWER more physical contact, intense eye-contact, gestures often and large ex: someone sits in a room w/ less proper posture, take up more space, slouching, make themselves at home Visual Dominance Ratio - ANSWER more eye-contact while talking, less while listening Control: Overhelping - ANSWER helping in order to take credit - helping to benefit them and yourself Control: Sandbagging - ANSWER pretending u don't have much control over something and seeking assistance when u don't need it - putting someone in a circumstance that makes them more vulnerable to benefit yourself Affection - ANSWER need to be loved and feel cared for -not just intimate behavior, includes behavior known as: rewarding, supportive, generous, sympathetic, warm, sensitive, cooperative True or False: Affection is important to our interpersonal health? - ANSWER True; tends to cause greater happiness, higher self-esteem, less depression & stress, greater mental health Affection: Immediacy - ANSWER the degree of liking between 2 communicators involves 2 ppl we learn more about the person to predict future actions in different situations

Verbal Indicators of Immediacy - ANSWER express oneself more openly, express importance of the relationship, higher use of "we" phrases, being sensitive to other communicators Nonverbal Indicators of Immediacy - ANSWER body positioning, eye levels of mutual gaze, proximity (little distance btw communicators), more open gestures, smiling