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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
I. The Art of Conversation The art of conversation is a necessary skill for almost everything in life. Conversations introduce you to people, important people who could be your mentors, employers, employees, partners or friends. Without conversations as the foundation for those relationships, you’ll have a hard time building a social circle, starting a business or advancing your career. Once a conversation gets going, you should have little problem maintaining that momentum—but for most of us, getting it started is the hardest part. Master these "talking points" to get (and keep) a conversation going:
1. Lead with a compliment. Compliments are the best possible way to begin a conversation. Not only do they provide a perfect opening line and a possible door for discussion, they also make the person feel good about themselves. Starting the conversation off on a positive note is crucial to keep the conversation going. 2. Embrace small talk. Small talk is taboo to some people, and while it’s not the most fulfilling type of conversation, it is both functional and necessary. Small talk is what leads the way to deeper conversation, much in the way that a car must gradually accelerate to a certain speed rather than hitting 60 miles an hour instantaneously. 3. Ask lots of questions. If you want to move from small talk to real conversation, you have to look for any opportunity that leads you to change the subject. Don’t try to abruptly change gears and talk about something deep or substantial; instead, patiently wait for the opportunity to present itself. 4. Be nice. This should be obvious, but don’t neglect it. Your level of friendliness can make or break the receptiveness of the other party involved. Walk into the conversation with a big smile and open body language, and keep yourself open, receptive and smiling politely for as much of the conversation as you can. 5. Let the other person do the talking. This is another major point. If you go into a conversation and immediately begin dominating it with your own anecdotes, comments and explanations, the other person may immediately become disinterested. Instead, try to keep the focus on them as much as possible. 6. Keep it light. Try to keep the conversation as light and approachable as possible. If you immediately start complaining about your job or talking about what’s wrong with your life, people will want to avoid you. If you tell a joke or an amusing story, they’ll be far more likely to stay. II. 5 Common Mistakes You Make in a Conversation
Let’s say you have an extremely impressive résumé and you’re interviewing at a new firm for a potential promotion. On paper you’re the ideal candidate and you’re objectively more skilled and more experienced than your competitors. But, during the interview, your conversation gives the interviewer a bad impression and he is forced to go with a more impressive candidate. Whether you’re interviewing for a new job, trying to land a new client, motivating your employees or making a pitch to land funding for your business, how you speak and hold conversations can make or break you, regardless of how skilled or talented you are in other areas. Eliminate these five speaking habits before they destroy you:
1. Using Filler Words Filler words have become so common in our colloquial speech patterns that we scarcely notice we’re even saying them. We start our sentences with the word “so,” never consciously realizing it. We inject our sentences with the word “like,” never thinking about the literal ramifications of its use, and fill every pause with an “um” or an “uh” as an almost involuntary reflex. These filler words seem innocent enough, but if they take over the bulk of your speech, they become distracting and reflect poorly on you as the speaker. 2. Using Repetitive Vocal Inflections The inflections in our voice say just as much as the words that are shaped by them. Imagine the sentence “I didn’t steal that car” with an emphasis on each different word within the sentence. “I didn’t steal that car” means something very different than “I didn’t steal that car.” 3. Talking Too Fast When you get excited, or when you’re nervous, it’s ridiculously easy to speak too quickly. You have a lot to say and you’re trying to get it all out, so the words naturally come to you in a constant stream. Some people subconsciously fear silence. 4. Neglecting Your Mannerisms Everybody has small ticks and mannerisms that go unnoticed and remain insignificant in daily conversations, but these small mannerisms can add up to real annoyance in the context of a professional or public speaking event. For example, if you tend to gesticulate wildly in repetitive motions or if you unconsciously smack your lips at the end of each sentence, your listeners could view you as unpracticed, or worse—unprofessional. 5. Rambling Rambling is an indication of nervousness, and it’s especially dangerous in a one-on-one context.Generally, if you’ve prepared a speech, you won’t have to worry about rambling because you’ll have a specific, dedicated talk track. In a more improvised setting, which demands a back-and-forth between two parties, rambling is a much more dangerous threat. **When it’s your turn to talk…
- Get your thinking straight.** Organize your thoughts. 2. Say what you mean. Say exactly what you mean.
**3. Listen Up!
- I’m Determined!
- Everything** **6. Small, Medium, Large
- I’ve Got My S*** Together
- Let Me Tell You
- Just a Part**
**10. I Am Magnanimous
- Growth
- You
- Me
- This and That
- Come Together
- It’s Just So
- I’m Not Hiding Anything
- You Listen to Me
- Stop** .
Perceptual barriers , in contrast, are internal. If you go into a situation thinking that the person you are talking to isn’t going to understand or be interested in what you have to say, you may end up subconsciously sabotaging your effort to make your point Emotional barriers can be tough to overcome, but are important to put aside to engage in conversations. Cultural barriers are a result of living in an ever shrinking world. Different cultures, whether they be a societal culture of a race or simply the work culture of a company, can hinder developed communication if two different cultures clash. In these cases, it is important to find a common ground to work from. Language barriers seem pretty self-inherent, but there are often hidden language barriers that we aren’t always aware of. If you work in an industry that is heavy in jargon or technical language, care should be taken to avoid these words when speaking with someone from outside the industry. Gender barriers have become less of an issue in recent years, but there is still the possibility for a man to misconstrue the words of a woman, or vice versa. Interpersonal barriers are what ultimately keep us from reaching out to each other and opening ourselves up, not just to be heard, but to hear others. VI. Effective Interpersonal Communication A. Listen effectively
- Avoid jumping to conclusions, making premature judgments, agreements, comparisons, or criticisms.
- Seek the reasons behind the comments or statements of those with whom you are speaking. Ask, “Why?”
- Remember you are hearing only one side of a story. Ask for permission if you wish to speak with others.
- Emphasize facts. Gather objective information. Do not try to solve a problem until facts on all sides are available.
- Early on, it is better to understand the point of view of other people than it is to agree or disagree with it.
- Be consistent. B. Be respectful. Don’t embarrass others, especially in public. Don’t misdirect your anger. C. Act thoughtfully and carefully — don't react. You usually do not have to agree to any course of action on the spot. It may be wiser, and safer, to wait. Keep a record of the conversation. D. Behave professionally , no matter what the other person says or how you feel. Your own behavior can change the focus of the discussion and decision making from the issue at hand. Principles of Effective Interpersonal Communication
The Principles of Effective Interpersonal Communication have emerged from the practice of mediation, and in particular, Community Mediation, which focuses on the nature and quality of relationships and how to resolve day to day issues of importance to those living or working in community with each other. These Principles have relevance to the practice of effective communication in areas such as healthcare and nursing, businesses and their workplaces, team-management, within marriages, family relationships, neighbour and community relationships and many others. "As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Effective Interpersonal Communication can be achieved through conscious awareness of the following Principles:. 1.That we treat each other with respect
**2. That we do not interrupt one another
- That we have the right to pass
- That we do not volunteer others
- That we speak only for ourselves (We speak in the 'I' Models of communication** In this section, you will learn about three models of communication: 1. Linear Model The linear model views communication as a one-way or linear process in which the speaker speaks and the listener listens. Laswell’s (1948) model was based on the five questions below, which effectively describe how communication works: Shannon and Weaver’s (1949) model includes noise or interference that distorts understanding between the speaker and the listener. Figure 1.3 shows a linear model of communication:
The transactional model shows that the elements in communication are interdependent. Each person in the communication act is both a speaker and a listener, and can be simultaneously sending and receiving messages. There are three implications in the transactional model: i. “ Transactional ” means that communication is an ongoing and continuously changing process. You are changing, the people with whom you arecommunicatingare changing, and your environment is also continually changing as well. ii. In any transactional process, each element exists in relation to all the other elements. There is this interdependence where there can be no source without a receiver and no message without a source. iii. Each person in the communication process reacts depending on factors such as their background, prior experiences, attitudes, cultural beliefs and self-esteem. A transactional model of communication XI. References:
_1. Andres, Tomas D. Leadership in Philippine Setting, 1989
- Covey,Stephen R, Principle-Centered Leadership, 1992 3._ Franco, Ernesto et al, 1994, Educational Planning, Quezon City, National Bookstore Inc.
- Kaufman, Roger, 1983, Educational Systems Planning, New Jersey, Prentice Hall. _5. Kuczmarski, SusanSmith et al, Value-Based Leadership, 1995
- Lussier, Robert N., Management, South Western College Publishing, 1997.
- Martirez, Concepcion, Management of Human Behavior in Organization, 1996
- Newstrom, John W., Organizational Behavior, Beethoven Publishing, 1997
- Ooi, Pete, The Art of EQ Leadership, a seminar paper presented at NVSU, May 2008.
- Oakland, John S. Total Quality Management, 1995
- Short, Paula, Leadership in Empowered School, 1997
- Snyder, Neil H, Vision, Values, and Courage, Leadership for Quality, 1994 13._ Stoner, James A. et al, 1989, Management, 4th^ Edition 14. Tenedero, Avelino P, Theory and Practice of Public Administration in _the Philippines, 1980
- Walton, Richard, Managing Conflict, 1987
- Microsoft, Encarta 2005 and 2006 Editions
- Internet: On Educational Leadership_
_18. Civil Service Manual
- Magna Carta for Public School Teachers
- 1987 Philippine Constitution
- Republic Act No. 6713 (Code of Conduct and Ethical Standards for Public Officials and Employees)_
