Troublesome Expressions and Words: A Guide to Effective Communication, Lecture notes of Auditing

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Foreword

Some time ago an experienced newspaper editor remarked, “The es&t thing for x newspaper reader to do is to stop reading. I never let my stxff forget that.” If xn editor of x carefully written, well-edited, rttrxctively printed newspaper worries that his paper still mxy not be read, I publisher of government reports should be even more concerned. The Genenl Accounting Office ia a publisher. Most GAO ruditing work must be committed to paper if Congress, government officials and employees, or the public xre to benefit. Subordinate only to m xccurate message, what is needed in these published products ix x clearly written memage. Clarity is communicating in simple and direct language; we in GAO need to practice this art more skillfully. While this booklet WPB prepxred for auditors, its mesage xpplics equally to anyone who writes for public information. Anyone who arq$res to the management level in GAO munt learn to write an skillfully xx he auditn or researches legxl knuea If you write with this positive attitude, your congrrasionxl readers will benefit more

&om the results of your long hours of audit. The memxge in ti booklet can help each of

you master the art of dear writing.

Comptroller Gmeral of the United States

iii

Content

FOREWORD.............................. iii

PREFACE.......................... ..I.. v

PART I-AUDITORS CAN WRITE BETTER

Introducdon ........................... 3 Chxpta I-Au&tom On Communicxte .............^5 Chxpter II-whxt lo co”lmu”icxtio”? ..............^7 Chapter III-What b Effective E”$iih? .............^11 Chxpter IV-Writing Within Ruon ...............^15 .

PART II-HOW TO CORRECT WRITING PROBLEMS BY EDITING

I”troductio” ...........................^19 Chnpter V-Ci+xirtg Pv+ ................^21 Qvpter VI-Building Sentences ................. 23

PART III-HANDBOOK OF SUGGESTIONS FOR REPORT WRITING

Introducrion ...........................^37 Txb I-Andyxing Sentarca With Text-bys ........... 41 Txbll-Expreeionx: ARwiew ................. 49 T&III-Words: AReview ....................^ .Qj

Choose A Synonym .................... 55

Thirty-One Troublesome Words ..............^59 TB IV-T&la ..........................^65

APPENDIXES

I Partial Draft Digd-Before R,evbion ............ 69 p Putixlh4ftDigext-After&vision ............. 75

A Self-Improvement Bibliigxphy.. _............. 79

Vii

PART I

Auditors Can W rite Better

CHAPTER

Auditors Can Commu.nicate

hIany an auditor who took hin bmic training in accounting acquired language habits acceptable to that discipline-the accountants’ dialect.’ When an auditor known the reader of his report will understand hi didect, standard words and phraaea are acceptable- acceptable not born a grammatical or litenry point of view but from the point of view of reader expectation. ‘Ibe report ia accepted by the reader because he doa not need to read every word: he knows the standard format md where to look to find the Bguren needed for andyaix. This generalization hdds for the communic, tion +ilb learned in any discipline, for each discipline ban its own special dialect and its own private audience which understands the memage without reading all the words. GAO reports are read by busy manngem, legixlatorx, and their staff assistants from many disciplinca and they mny not be familiar with the particular format or writing style of the accounting d&&line. To save these readers

&om having to decode the accounting dialect, GAO

reports hould be written in the universal didect- standard En&h. GAO’s purposea for reporting include motivating managers and legislators to improve Government opem dons. A message motivates if it changea the value or projected worth of a decision. The mesage, the m- ing, md the de&ion to act come from what is id and bow the words are put together, rather than from where key phrases or figurea ate located in the report. The auditor can no longa convince bin reader by imply repeating his point over and over. He must redixe

that ~tdy a hi&ly motivated reader will tolsnte a

complicated or excessively stereotyped atylc. In fact, the educated reader wantn the manage without needlem words, paive voice, abstract voc&ulary, and long

winded sentencea. An auditor can eaxily learn to avoid a utemotyped approrb by analysing how communication woke.

How Doea Communication Work?

Fit, a reader rcspondn pxychdogically with hir inner eus to the b& iythms and retn of rounds acquired

early in life. Wht.en En&s& should rcaemble three

fan@lirr xoundx, m in thi6 example.

dimirmting mbstandnrd In if?

tithagoalof an housing during

The Indian Housing pro

the IWOk, i run jointly by three yncira. The Bureau of Indian Affairs, Depxrtment UT the interior. and the Department of Housing and Urban Ikvdopment (HUD) finance home cow rtruction and renovation, and the Indian Health Service providea wa* and sewerage. Between 1966 and 1970, HUD and the Bureau built or renovated 15,tXtO houses for

Indiana for 8108 million. GAO reviewed the

props to find out whether substandard hour lng wm bei 7

eliminated, and if not, what changea xhoul bc made. The pro- ix not meeting the Indiana’ housing needs, and unless the pro m is xccelentc& it will not meet its vjcrkl tmilies in new and renovated housing are living better, but the rogmm ha, not reduced the number of diea in substandard housing. Despite the eanstruction of 11,MlO homes between 1968 and 1970, 93 percent of the families in arbstandud how in 1968 were still there in 1970.

What teems to be the delay? HUD and thr

Bureau .ciyt to HUD’s finmci~delay~ and -me tn s reluctance to uk for edeml help. But GAO found four other problems.’

‘Part of the ow draft d&t of the mport 011the India

If- Pmgnm h iaduded m ApPmdix 1

PART I- 4UDITORS CAN COMMUNICATE

The above excerpt. read aloud. falls e&y on thr ear in natural spenh patterna. yet it is not ovcrr.impliGed. The verbs am mainly active (run, bu& nnowted

muieaued, end spent) and am simple (Fd out, instead of

aseer& but not childish, Sentence variety is kmod, and the rradcr quickly focuses on the ideas to come. In contrast, the following pngcaph, which requires deer&g, lures the reader with 8 scant melsage, indeed.

It seem3 that reviews in depth of the efficiency, economy, and effectivencm with

which the l %ities involved in the elements of

each communication medium are being carried on for the medium and among and between the several media, from the standpoint of how well designed and effectual the activities arr in terms of accomplishing l-X.4’s objwtivrs. would be most appropriate management tools, in view of the importanrc of evaluating input in relation to output-oriented measures m wrll as the business-type aspects invdved.

Such writing exhibits the 1066 syndrome. When the Normans invaded EnpJand they brought the idea that Latin words were superior (both socially and intd- kctually) to short, sturdy An&Saxon words. With that idea came another: If l man wanted to leave the farm and rise in stntua, he should forget the simple speech of his ancestors and adopt the cd language of the King, Does modem man still have that idea? Is he avoiding the rimplc direct style because he fears it will identify him with a low class? Is he intentionally sprinkling his Iangupgr with ovrrblown terms and Latin-based jargon? Does he assume that true wisdom lies in big words md that simple words are for simpletons? Positive answers to

thrse quurstions have a tradition among some preachers, teachers, writers, and pditicians. But modem politicd leaders, skillful rdvcrtisem. and other communication specialists in our m+dia-minded society know a Latin- Iike look no longer wins the reader. The words of this seernint$y simple poem tell the tale.

Big Words And Little Cha

BY

. Ardtur Kudner, for his son

New fear bii long words. Big long words mean little thinp AU bii thing5 have little nfimea, Such as life and death, peace, and war Or dawn, day, night, hope, love, home. Learn to use little words in I big way. Itishardtodo, But they uy what you mean. When you don’t know what you me”, Ihe big word.+ That ofien fods litde people.

So ww&, the tight words, get the mestage acma Unfortunately, there ia m o m to it than that. What countr in communication? How can effective En&sh be put to work in reports? What is the relationship between dear writing and round reasoning? Tbe mxt three chapters attempt to answer these questions.

PART I-WHAT IS COMMUNICATION?

what to my b influenced by w& the memege is uid in rhewx it is said. When what and why are not Jeer in the writerb mind, chrncce ue tbe confusion will show in tbc writing and the meage will not be clear. To help clarify his reason for writing, a writer could ask thw quutions: b the ruder a~ppoeed to under- etxnd I qccific problem? Ir he expected to we ju+ent and to xct? How c.n he be informed? Should tbe wita be concerned with interesting x luge qoup of readen in / the^ ime? Next is organia~tiond purpose. Mxny G A O reporta I ; @ e the Congrraa and the public armwax to four

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fundamental questions: (1)Are public fund8 beii wmted? (2) Are Federd program xchi&ng their objec-

tives? (3)Gn propam objectivea be met by using

I different^ or^ lower^ coet^ approxchen?^ end^ (4)^ Are^ funds

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being rpent legdly? Our reports must xnewer these questions directly since the render C M act only if kauca ‘I and^ Jtemrtives^ discussed^ in^ the^ report^ ue^ written^ in ~ (^) lxnguage he understandestandard English. With specixl effort a writer can visualize xnd write a report from the reader% point of view. But to do so, the writer muat change his perspective km intemd pmc- wea to extemxl audience needs. Although ruditing procemea xre important within the orgxniwtion, the reader ie intere&d in what w m found and what needa to he done. When the wdda too many qxere, xuch

m indicated, pn’mady, genemlly, about, md approxC

matdy, the ruder will likdy question the rueon for ~sounding ao defer&e md may mim the mew. / Sdf-refmncing^ rtatcments,^ such^ m^ in^ our^ rsvieae,^ w

found, and based on the information made awikbk to

ur, tend to confuM tbc ruder by obscuring tbr what wan (^1) found in I morxm of who found it and bow< ‘(*II I -^ - found. I’

:!j (^) To Whom?

Any writer should know merd important thing xbout to whom hr in writing. When he doea not know hire ruder, he will find it unneceaurily difficult to fumida needed information in x log&l, or&ad wxy. Within GAO, the ruder b tatdly mother a&or, often of higher pde. who ix &ting in tbe review chxir. Outside of GAO, the rexden are Membera of Congrem, congr&ond Btaff, executive agency officiala end tm- ployets. end the public. Wlut xre the individuds like? What are their reading, ediacrtion, xnd intdlstud levels? What are their motivations for reading tbr report? Ia it fur information or for x&on? Wlut xre their pxat expericnceI with the topic?

Their education levd ix tbr easiest to determine, of mume, xnd with that x writer can predict their tiding xnd intdlstud lev& G A O writers could take a hint from the 1970 cenn~ on whet education xnd rexding kvelr to xpproxch. Thxt cenm~ sbowed the me&n e&cation levd of tbe population xged 25 or over wan jut over the 12th pde. AI for the Coqea end itx tiff, tbc netage education levd is xt lust 2 yun of college, and many hxve more yeam than that. Lawyers, bueineeemen. and hnkem U C predominant in both tbr House and the senate. If G A O choooea to reach the better educxted 55 percent of the population aged 25 and over, II well MI Memben of Congreex and their staffs, the titer xhould wxite in x style readable by a person with a 10th pde reading level-the reading level of the overage edlege junior. This does not mean that the titer should try to write evey report as if it were for I 10th grader. Bather, be nbould wite xbout difficult xnd relntivdy technicd iders in x Iangu8ge readable to the majority of eduated Americulu 0. Some useful generalilrtions on to whom are: (1) know how the ruder intends to uee the information, (2) concentrate on the message. r&her thxn the proceases used to devdop it, KI the mmk.r will reach the conclusion you intended, md (3) use a &tivdy sim$e, strxightfotward rtyle so busy readers, euch I Conpmmrn, will not stop reading

In what Medium?

k Mddl McLubxn put it, “the medium i tbe maeage.” A person’s reaction to the spoken word ir different from his rrrction to the written word. The written word i ti@d; it cxnnot convey tones of voice, indicate gesturen, or provide eye contact with another pmon. ‘l&a i an edvxntxge when the message must be

objective or when it L x documentated fact Written

reporting L mperior when the mu5xge L complex, controvemid, or hi#dy tech&d; the w will be tbe b&r. for l law or an action qxinst another p&y; or tbe meage L fundamentally reference information, x prc+ pod, or a disclosure. Written reporting givea the reader time to mdyre what he bm reed. Taditiorully, public accountantx hxve accepted the purpoxe of reporting aa rttmting: documenting the

mfidity, conformity, accumcy, and cotitency of &

nxncid trxnaxctiona. Thin purpoee led to xtxndard reporting formxta xnd the formulx xpproxch to *riting.

G A O moved to evaluating program results and man- agerid efficiency. New mer8ages required new formats. The report not only bad to document and inform quickly but it had to cause people to change. G A O writing style must rellcct these attitudes.

with wllrt Effect?

The effect x mesqe will have on a reader b difficult to anticipate. After andyzing his reader xnd writing the report, l writer may bdiwc that no one could +bly &interpret or react negativdy to his maqe. And yet that L exactly what may happen. Too, a tits may try to prevent a reader from deliberately misinterpreting hi message or from blowing up a coincidental thou&t into a major issue, but there is no wry to prevent an imincere reader from doing so. Below are some ways a titer can prevent unintentional misinterpretations and keep from dienating or confusing x re.xder who really wxnb to get the mew.

K N O W Y O U R PURPOSE FOR WRITING

The writer needs to know what he wants to xccom- plish. If he is merely documenting the record for future reference, netting down dl the detailed facta and figures IB well s how and where he found them i acceptable. Much legal and workpaper writing is this kind of documentation. Such titing is not designed for quick or leisure reading. It must br studied 80 the ruder cm be informed about details which support gcnenl tito mcntn. On the other hand, if the purpose i to motivate, a detailed rL*itation of all the facts and process mxy not help the reada understand the meaqr. k the purpose for writing changes, so hould the &ting approach. At the outset, usefulness in the key. Useful informa- tion gives the decisionmaker the basii for deciding an bur. If the information rent id known in advance by the drcisionmrker. nothing will have been communicated xnd no change can happen. A writer nhould try to gxuge the chqe hi reported mange will bring about in x decisionmaker’s action8 by anticipating his reaction to the report. There i no ideal &u&ion becnuxe a wlitcr cannot anticipate dl usra or wws of the rrport. Yet the writer’s experience and familiarity with the subject mxtter should be ured to

help him devdop I subjective forecast that anticipates probable users, their needs, and their reactions.

USE OBJECTIVE UNEMOTIONAL W O R D S

Avoid labding facts with subjective emotion-laden words like muffeasance, unrk. almvagunce. ineffective

IMJ and fmud These are negativdy nlanted judgmental

words which detract from an objective tone of the PO Let the read- andyte the facta and the conditioru md do his own labeling. The writer cxn win hi reader and rem& objective by accurately describing tbe conditions and suggesting ways to correct them without using negative labels.

USE CONCRETE W O R D S

Use words which xccumtely describe the object or activity you are writing about. Such abstract worda m

rtondrudr, capebifity, fadity, rruice unit, probkm and

jbctor have many me&w xnd wn confound the most

selious reader because they de? apecifc visual imqs and do not relate to fundamental life expctiencea Remembu, a word that meana everything C M dso m m nothing. (See pp. 12-14.)

WRlTE REPORTS IN A READABLE STYLE

Tbe atyie used to document for the record (legal de&ions and workpapers, for example) is different from the &yle lged to communicate. Report language must Bow smoothly. distinguish important ideas from tbe unimportant, and maintain a tone and cadence appro& mating spoken En&sh. Reseuchrrs have developed readability formulas to mensure how effective a writer’s style is with his reader. Thrse formulas are baaed on tbe following concepts. -The fewer number of qllables in each word of a pasage, the easier the pasw L to understand. -The more familiar the words are, the u&r it h to qaep the meaning. -The doss the worda are to fundamental life experiences, the easier the writing is to undetatand. -Ihe shorter the average mtence length, the easier tbemistoread.

CHAPTER IIl

What Is Effective English?

Words have two dimasions. They denote meaning, IS delined in diction&en (cdled vocabulxty), and tbey point out relationship among words in sentences. Botb dimensions. which form the studies cdled aemxntica and pmmar, are xt work in this poem from “Alice In Wonderland”

“And host thou slain the Jxbberwock? Come to my urns, my beamixb boy! 0 frpbjouL1 dxy! Cdlooh, CdIxy!” He chortled in hi joy.

Twaa brillig, xnd the r&thy tovm Did gyre xnd gimble in the wxbe: AU minmy were the b&ogove+ And the mome nthn outgmbc.

Jabben*ocLy

by

Lewis Curd

Twos brillig, and the ditby tovex did gyre xnd +&ale in the wxbe! AU mhy were the borogovc3. and the momc r&s out&e.

‘Bcwxre the Jxbberwock, my um! The jrwx that bite, md clxwa tbxt catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun Thr frumioua Ffanderanxtch!”

He took his vorpd sword in hand: Long time the mxnxome foe he sought So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood l whUe in thou+.

And, as in uf6sh thou&t he xtood, The Jxbbenvock, with pyre of flame, Cxme whirfling throu$ the tulgey wood, And burbled u it came!

One, two! one, two! And throug and through The vorpd Made wxnt soickasnack! Hr left it dud. and with its head He went gdumphing back.

How does a reada get my YNK from tbix? Since moat of Louie CarroUB readers are acquxinted with tdea of knikthood and other heroic dcedq the author counted on I specid context-the readax’ previoun experiencea However, readers who do not have ach expericnce8 may need to have the mex6age explainal to them before they cxn understand it

Root And Rdational Worda

In “‘Jxbberwoeky” it is hard to tdl exactly wlut ia going on because much of the vocxbuly is nonsenaicd.

Won41 like uorpal, u&i& xnd shifjb’.ng, if not jobber

vrocty itedf, are not clear. but born their tmiliu endinr or locations, we can guts their mrxnin~ Other

worl are very clear: his, in the, so, by, or, and it

The words we do not know and the worda whoc mexniw we lseume are clear can be divided rou&ly into two groups: root md relationd. The root worda are mast of the nouns>+ md rdjectice which carry the idess in x sentence and make the point whenever fee@ or idexa are communicated. They hae mrxninp which rymbolizr red-world subetancea, xct)ons. md qualities. The root- words, howeva, must br uranged in the riefit ordrr-syntax-&owing the rdationahip between

them. Words like the, of from, with. ao, md m av thr

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PART I-WHAT IS EFFECTWE ENGLISH?

relstiond words which do the srrsnging. Of coune they cannot be defined by themselva for their mesnings sre found in the Isngusge gstem itself. As resders, WC usudly do not psy sttention to relstionsl words or to the srrsngemrnt which mskeu up our vsmmsr. Lsngusge works best when grsmmsr snd relations1 words sre used so effectivdy thst tbcy do not cd attention to themsdvea. We psy sttention to the root words-the msin idels-snd that is why these wor& should be within the rcsders’experience.

Ihe Right Namer For things

Whst joumdists, educstors, socid critics, snd some Government employers cdl gobbledygook i Isngusgc at sn unneccsssrily sbstract level complicsted by jsrgon or private mesning. Lpngusge relates to experience the wsy a map mlates to tenitory. Any msp ir symbolic, sn sbatrsction of redity, and the person nsding tbe msp must refer bsck to redity to test its vdidity. Words sre

ymbols, too. Like msdcs on a msp, they hsve degea of

sbstrsction. To nsme things we have to exclude msny specific chsrscteristiw of the individusl item. The word ds coven s lsrge number of size+ breeds, snd colors. All these differences sre ovedooked in the sbstrsction don Tbk~ sbstncting pc~f’ge is st the very core of lsngusg~ Without it, we would not be sble to com- municste.

We can take any item or went snd sbstrsct it furtha,

gcnerslixing it to prscticdiy the entire univerxe. For

example, the word room can become a living anq a

apuce, or a jiseifity. A bammer may be a toot, an

implement, sn artifmt, or a culfud item Thii rsnge of

generdiwtion or &traction is usudly illustrated by the cls& Isdder of sbstmction. The more sbstrsct the term, the larger the territory it ccncn, md the wider the rsngc of interpretstiona smong nrders. A rueful writer gusrde sgsinst using sn sbstrsc- tion which, dthou& it includes his ides, an be interpreted in different wsyd. For example, the word kility csn properly refer to s fsctory, but foekwy should be used if this is whst is being discussed. Faciii~y should be ssved to nsme something, likr s shipysrd with WEB, crsnrs, docks, tmclts. or building msterids or sny other compsrsble nnge of vsrisbles, for which s specific word likefoetory is too limited. Skillful writers hdp readers by u&g concrete words to support snd limit high-order sktrsctiona. For cxsm- pk: OMB ha issued brosd guidelines to the U.S. C;uvrmment sgencies dir&ng thst msximum

fePaible utilization be msdc of U.S.-owned foreign currency.

%I sentence csn be reduced, 18 one suditor suggested, to:

OMB iwued instructions rrquiting U.S. spncies to we foreign money owned by our Govern- ment whenever they could.

The most +ing enor in the origind oentence is the

plmw maximum femible utifizution, sn rxtrsordinsrily

sbstrsct term fsr swsy born the experience of most

madem. Concrete terms improve such inflated sentenceu. A similar dsngcr b dead-level abrrracri~-using words st the asme level of &&action to explsin snotber. Such

erplamtiona do not bring the reader closer to under-

standing. Most of the difficulty with the following excerpt lies in dud-level Ibatrsction.

Even when sdequste provisions hsve not been made to prevent the occurrence of O&M, problems that occur can be minimisgd thmu& proccdurcs avsilshlr for detectin

ing improper or inrfticient O&M.

procedures, however. srr in development. In this rrgsrd, FWQA could be of s&tsnce to the St&es by gstbering snd di+ scrninsting information to dndo a model Stste pmgrsm for the detection sn B correction of plsnt O&M problems.

Let’s sndyxe the shove psrsgrspb. Whst sre the sdequate provisions that con prevent occurrence of O&M? Whatever they sre, they csnnot be improper or inefficient, but they certainly csn be cured by direm- insting inform&on to develop a modrl to detst corrozt O&,&l problems. But what were thr problems? Obviously they occurred snd csn br minimized tbrou& procedurrrif that hrlps at all. Bccsur* dl tbv worda sre roughly at the ssmr lrvel of sbstnction, tbc srgummt is not sdvsnerd-it ie on a tresdmiil. Dt*sd-levrl sbstrsction ia ueuslly weompsnird by other tlsws in style, such ss in the fdlowing excerpt where wordinas compounds the error.

This procrdure wss designId to provide pster cmphs& on individual pricing rxsminstiors by our regional offices. 6 giving r+onsl msn- sgrrs increaPied ~potw~ lhty sn? llcxibgity for .g.. srhcting, schrduhpg, and rerrtmg pn contrsct work, pstrr m IU msdr o our replond office* rtsff and reports are hued soon sftrr fieldwork is complrted. ’

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PUT I-WHAT IS EFFECTIVE ENGLISH?

The point can be made with fewer generalizations and fewer word%

Under this ruedun, regional mana;td a: rrnponible Por selwting, schedulin porting on contract wo&. Rc@onal o ‘i fice stafb are used more for individud pricing examin, horn, and re r

rta are issud soon after fidd- wok is camp eted.

At the bottom of the abstraction ladder, another danger anrib. The thoughtful writer is aware that ovemimplify ing can be a6 nommwical N ovr~nerdixing.

For rxample, in onr report on sdid wastr manage mcnf thr witrr blithely announced:

l l l the Army is responaiblc for providing support for nationd and intemationd pdicy and is responsible for monitoring the security

of the United Skh * l l.

In a report drding with the Army’s midon, this statement might make sense. but in a report on solid waste management, it is not only irrelevant but simplk be.

CHAPTER IV

W riting W ithin Reaeon

O@ng idur implia resoniq. The dfecb of poorrWoninguBot*,apparcntrtboacofpoor punmar or apdhg. Poor reasoning, however, b mom

&abIing lo the audit report pwpone. Remming rdia

on faeb and inferencca The rcada’r qucatioar of m

and=- = bat anmvcnd with facb. but my!,

the mat importmt palion, mud be answxed by

inference or by eondueiom bred on the faeb. h

auditor, perhap more than other qurt titem, L swam that hi8 conel~on L a judgment bad on a p ponderance of evidence ad &am L an rbolute,

iuevitable determina~on. Much auditor fiwbation can

helraeedlotl&awamma

Inference, then, L M ementid part of the job. A

simple recitation uf facb, no malln how wlid the facb

are, crule3 infcrenca. When i5knca m made, the

reader ml other quationa: How l dquate are the uittia? How round L the r~aoning? Sharing and

exploring both hcb and inferencea hdp to atehlieh the

truth of a prupodion fur the ruder.

To meet the lwl of sound lo* and Jearrr~r+

the writer must meet two tidar&: language and lo+.

He mud (1) us terms, expraiona, and aentencra which m uninformed reader can und&d, (2) prove all

@demenb in pation with evidence, and (3) more, by

dur and logical rteps9 from proved statemrntc. to the conclusion, m ahown in this form&.

The Reasoning Process

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PART II

How To Correct W riting Problems By *Editing

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