Non Violent Communication, Lecture notes of Communication

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Non ViolentNon Violent

Communication Communication

Dr. Imtiaz A. Shah Dr. Imtiaz A. Shah

The Heart of NonviolentThe Heart of Nonviolent

Communication Communication

What I want in my life is compassion, What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others a flow between myself and others based based on a mutual giving from the heart. on a mutual giving from the heart.  Marshall RosenbergMarshall Rosenberg

Factors that affect our ability toFactors that affect our ability to

stay compassionate stay compassionate

Crucial role of language and our use Crucial role of language and our use  of words.of words.  identified a specific approach toidentified a specific approach to communicating communicating  speaking and listening—that leads us tospeaking and listening—that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us with give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way ourselves and with each other in a way  allows our natural compassion toallows our natural compassion to flourish. flourish.

A Way To Focus AttentionA Way To Focus Attention  NVC is founded on language andNVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying ability to remain human, even under trying conditions. conditions.  NVC guides us in reframing how we expressNVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. ourselves and hear others.  Instead of being habitual, automaticInstead of being habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness of responses based firmly on an awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting.

A Way To Focus AttentionA Way To Focus Attention  As NVC replaces our old patterns ofAs NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism, in the face of judgment and criticism,  Resistance, defensiveness, andResistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized. violent reactions are minimized.  NVC fosters respect, attentiveness,NVC fosters respect, attentiveness, and empathy, and engenders a and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart. mutual desire to give from the heart.

The NVC ProcessThe NVC Process

Parts of NVCParts of NVC

How You Can Use The NVCHow You Can Use The NVC

Process Process

 Honestly expressing howHonestly expressing how II amam without blaming or criticizing without blaming or criticizing  Empathically receiving howEmpathically receiving how youyou areare without hearing blame or criticism without hearing blame or criticism

Applying NVC In Our Lives AndApplying NVC In Our Lives And

World World

 FamiliesFamilies  schoolsschools  organizations and institutionsorganizations and institutions  therapy and counselingtherapy and counseling  diplomatic and business negotiationsdiplomatic and business negotiations  disputes and conflicts of any naturedisputes and conflicts of any nature

Connecting Compassionately WithConnecting Compassionately With

Ourselves Ourselves

 NVC contributes to relationships withNVC contributes to relationships with friends and family, at work and in the friends and family, at work and in the political arena. political arena.  When we are internally violent towardsWhen we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others. compassionate towards others.  The most important use of NVC mayThe most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion. be in developing self-compassion.

NVC ExerciseNVC Exercise

SummarySummary  (^) NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in aNVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way way  (^) that allows our natural compassion to flourish.that allows our natural compassion to flourish.  It guides us to reframe the way we express ourselves andIt guides us to reframe the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four areas: what we are observing, feeling, and needing and areas: what we are observing, feeling, and needing and what we are requesting to enrich our lives. what we are requesting to enrich our lives.  (^) NVC fosters deep listening, respect, and empathy andNVC fosters deep listening, respect, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart. engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.  (^) Some people use NVC to respond compassionately toSome people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. at work or in the political arena.  Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts atWorldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels. all levels.