Behavioral Goals: Addressing Communication Challenges in Interpersonal Communication, Lecture notes of Financial Accounting

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Parts 2 & 3 – Establishing Behavioral Goals SPCH277- Interpersonal Communication

Week 3 CCC: Part 2 Template

2A. Behavior Log Listing

Goal (from Part 1E): The communication behavior that I seek to address is my inability to use filtered words during communication processes to convey to my peers that I do not always intend to be rude. Addressing this challenge will make my communication, especially the words and languages used, polite to allow me to get along with others. This will help me improve the way that I communicate to guarantee that I meet others' expectations. Monday 11.2.  Who? My close friend Asia.  What?She texted me asking why I take long to text back when she asks me something and I texted back a not so nice text.  Where? Over the phone/text messages.  When? 1:24pm  Why? She was asking me advice about her boyfriend.  Circumstances? I do not like talking about her boyfriend, so I did not reply.  How?I wrote back to her in caps and used profanity, telling her why. I knew she was upset with me because she never replied. Tuesday 11.3.  Who? My close friend Asia.  What?She was ignoring my text and calls but I knew she seen them I saw the read receipts.  Where? Over the phone, Text, and Facetime  When? 11:05am  Why? I did not want to talk about it the previous day, so now she was ignoring me.  Circumstances?I knew she was hiding something from me, and I wanted to get it out of her. Even though I do not like discussing her relationship, I should be there for her.  How?I was being annoying and pestering her to speak about something she was dealing with now, but when she first brought it to me, I did not want to be bothered. I was being stubborn and selfish. Wednesday 11.4.  Who? My little Sister.  What?She was supposed ship our mom’s eyeglasses that she left when we were visiting her, but she forgot.  Where? Over the phone.  When? 3:08pm  Why?I been asking her to ship our mom’s personal belongings for 2 almost 3 weeks and she keeps forgetting

 How?I do not even bother listening to what she has at times, because I assume, she will be getting back with her ex based on her past behavior. I called her eventually and told her that she cannot expect me drop everything and answer her all the time. I must focus on my life here as well. I also told her she has become self-absorbed and just keep talking about her problems which is very selfish, she never asks about me and my life. Sunday 11.8.  Who? My Mom.  What?We were cooking together, and she told me I was doing something wrong, and I was going to mess up the meat.  Where? In person/at our home in the kitchen.  When? 11:05am  Why?I was prepping the meat for dinner wrong and skipping the steps she told me to follow. Instead of sucking it up, I got upset and felt like I needed to explain myself why I felt one step was more important than the order she told me to follow.  Circumstances? I did not want to listen, and I could have potential messed up the finish product. Since roast that takes all day to cook, we had no room for error.  How?I was upset because I did not mean to do something wrong and it made me feel like she was mad at me and didn’t want me to help anymore.

2B. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation – Most Effective

I performed this behavior most effectively on Saturday, 11.7.2020 around midnight while I was out at a bar with my Houston friends. She called me repeatedly over the phone, since she stays 800 plus miles away in our hometown, St. Louis MO. My favorite cousin/best friend is the person I was communication with. She requires a lot of attention from me and this stresses me out because sometimes I want to give her attention, but I just do not have the time.

2C. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation – Least Effective

I performed this behavior least effectively on Thursday, 11.5.2020 around 7pm at night while I was in my room doing homework. My mom was babysitting my little cousin as he does often, while his mom runs errands. Yes, my makeup pallet was my favorite and very expensive, but I noticed that I was just irritated with work and school.When I am not stressed, I am less likely to be annoyed. After the fact, I felt badfor yelling at my cousin.

2D. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation – Recurring Communication

I noticed that I am quick to assume and premediate the situation. I assume that my sister does not take me seriously and that is why she did not send our mom’s glasses yet. I am not sure of what

all my sister has going on besides work and school. I can also ask my mom to communicate directly to her and not involve me, because I am not the one who has her glasses. I also assume that my best friend does not understand that I have my own life here and that is why she is comfortable with confiding in me at any and every time of the day.

2E. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation – Most Pressing Behavior

I feel like I do get irritated easily and say whatever comes to my mind first, without thinking. That should not be my first reaction every time someone calls me out, or someone does not understand my point, that is my biggest communication problem. I find it embarrassing when I do not have a grasp of my emotions and I am yelling at important people in my life.I believe my goal is on the correct target. Maybe not only with communicating I can broaden my horizons to improve my communication with anyone when I am feeling defensive. Learning how to approach situations and remain calm while I am listening to criticisms will help me be an effective communicator.

Week 3 CCC: Part 3 Template

2A. Behavior Log Listing

Thursday 11.12.  Who? I spoke with my manger  What? I went to her to speak about my PTO approval for my family member funeral, but the conversation turned into a motivational speak about how proud she is of me.  Where? Zoom virtual call.  When? 10:00am  Why? I was making sure my PTO was approved for the following Monday, and it was. However, my manager wanted to speak about how far I have come knowing most of the obstacles I has to overcome, and that she is extremely proud of me for following what my heart desires and starting nursing school.  Circumstances? It was good to know my PTO got approve, but even more appreciated that my manger recognized my hard work.  How? During the conversation I got teary eye, but remain professional, welcoming, and humble. I responded with humanity and excitement. The tone of my voice spoke volumes because you could tell how much I appreciated that random kind gesture. Friday 11.13.  Who? I spoke to my friend Brittany  What? I was speaking to my friend Rosie we were speaking about our goals for 2020.  Where? We spoke at my house for my vision board party.  When? 7:00pm  Why? Once we were all done everyone spoke about why this is was their vision for 2020, butwhen Brittany spoke about her vision all her goals and plans were based on her relationship. For instance, some of her visions were pictures of weddings, families, and children. I am all for wanting marriage, but she had no personal goal for herself, and personally knowing her as she was speaking and listening to her. I had some intrapersonal thoughts in my mind. I believe that is common with listening to someone you care about when you know them, and you would think they would want more out their life. As everyone got done speaking, our friend Jasmin said to Brittany, “What are goals you personally want to reach this year.” Brittany responded, “Well once John finishes school I want to buy a house, get married, and grow with him.” After Brittany spoke the room went silent. As her friend, I spoke as well and said, “Brittany don’t you want to have goals of your own what about you finishing school or reaching a goal to improve on yourself?”  Circumstances? We had this conversation because I believe women should have their own with or without a man, first then build together  How? I feel like I spoke with empathy and try to be as open-minded as I could. But when the communicators have a personal relationship, sometimes there are listening barriers, and in this case, I was judging her, not out loud, but my body movement spoke volumes while Brittany was speaking. Saturday 11.14.  Who? I spoke with my close friends.  What? We spoke about seeing each other more and making for this summer.  Where? At a restaurant for brunch.

 When? 1:00pm  Why? The last time we were together was our childhood friend funeral. Sadly, she overdosed.Being around them during that tragic time made us really realize we need to do more check ins, and vacations together. We all take life and daily living for granted you never truly know what someone may be going through even the people close to you. Because a person will only tell you what they want you to know.  Circumstances? We need to see another more, and that its sad that we are only all together when someone dies.  How? During the conversation I was really hard getting a word in and communicating effectively since, because it was such a hard time to speak on everything, but when I did speak, I made sure I was being empathic, and not over talking anyone. Sunday 11.15.  Who? I spoke to my sister.  What? We spoke about her dad getting re married after 3 years of divorcing our mom.  Where? On facetime.  When? 10:00pm  Why? Because his wedding is coming up in March, and we all only met the woman once, and have not even spoke or seen herdad in years before we met the woman. It has been 2 years of not speaking to him or seeing him, the only time we ever heard from him is on holidays and our birthdays and it was via text message.  Circumstances? Since welost that relationship with her dad, it ishard not to feel some emotions, and yell.He just up and leaves forgetting the fact an entire family here as well, then he expects for us to be happy for him getting married. We are not unhappy about him living his life we are just numb to his actions of selfishness.  How? I spoke as clear as I could becausemy sister was crying or yelling most the time. The entire conversation was desolate, nonetheless, I wanted to let her know that she can’t change anything so drop it because it is affecting her. One thing I wish I could have done was not speak in anger, it was not all anger. Her wound is still fresh, because the abandonment really affected her and when she is hurt affects me.

2B. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation – Most Effective

My log patterns, seemed about the same in my response, Friday evening was my most effective dialogue. At this moment my friend was speaking about her future, and though I wish her goals were formed around someone else, I was still sentimental to her goals, as well as advising her that having personal goals is important as well.

2C. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation – Least Effective

3A. Positive Role Models

Example 3A1: (Thursday) My manager told me how proud she is of me pursuing my goals in getting into my nursing program. She said it with an encouraging and welcoming tone. Making me feel like what she was saying was genuine. Every word that my manager said it was positive, even though the only reason why I was speaking with her was to see if my PTO was approved, I was definitely actively listening to every word she said to me. In this dialogue a useful behavior I could have obtain in this conversation responding effectively for my manger to have something to respond to.

3B. Negative Role Models

Example 3B1: (Sunday) My sister was verbally ineffective speaking because when I was speaking to her, I felt like she was being insensitive to how this just did not only affect her it affects us all as a family. Her body language spoke volumes, which made me even more resistant to what she was saying. Even though she was making me very sad I was still listening, but I was also getting frustrated because she was not considering how me as well as my mom was affected. I did not listen to all the words, but the ones I did hear were coming off as selfishness. My sister and I love each other very much, but this topic was upsetting and emotional, so my tone was up and down and not the best. The behavior I wish to avoid was being not being sympathetic to how this affected the rest of our family. Example 3B2: (Sunday)

My sister and mom and I were talking about my father wedding, and she does not want us to go, because her dad has not apologized to her. I disagreed with her and told her we are going out of respect, and we understand her emotions towards it, my mother was not trying to listen to any of us and remain close off when we spoke to her, but when it was her time to speak we were actively listening and being compassion of the situation. She was not affective communicating with us, because we did not agree with her. My mom nonverbal communicating was very sad, she kept shaking her head and expressing intrapersonal thoughts. One behavior my mom should have avoid was not being open minded and viewing it from my standpoint.