COMMUNICATION STYLES
PASSIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
Self denying Self-enhancing Self-enhancing at others’ Manipulative
Inhibited Self improving expense Indirect
Fear/anxiety guilt Expressive Externalize, rationalize Dishonest
Depression/fatigue Deals with emotions Misplaced hostility Sneaky
Nervous as they occur Expression is loud, Self-denying/enhancing
Does not verbally state Normal voice tone explosive
Body Language:
Downcast eyes Good eye contact Glaring eyes Slumped posture
Shifts weight often Stands comfortably but Leaning forward Rolling eyes
Slumped posture firmly on two feet Finger pointing Pouting
Wringing hands Hands loosely at sides Raised/snickering/ Nonverbals
Whining, hesitant, Strong, steady tone of haughty voice tone
Giggly voice voice
Means of dealing:
Hidden bargains Face to face encounters Tirades
Manipulation through Confronting, dealing with Put downs
Guilt situation Cutting remarks
Retreating, giving up Honesty Sarcasm
Feels unvalued Direct Feels hurt, humiliated
Low self-esteem Feels good about self, Defensive
Actions Mean
Results In:
High stress level Lower stress High stress level Confusion
Self-deprecation High self-esteem Makes decisions for Non-achievement of goals
Nonachievement of Good decision-making others Hurt of self & others
Desired goals May achieve desired goal Achieves short-range Depreciation of others
Goal by hurting others Unresolved conflict
Tries to undervalue others,
Lower others’ self-esteem
Does not achieve long-range
goal
Goal:
Appease others Communicate mutually Control others Manipulation
Avoid conflict Sharing commonalities Control of situation
Give and get respect Avoid conflict
Problem-solving through
Negotiation/compromise
