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Guidelines for writing about educational goals and career choices for scholarship applications and college admissions. It includes questions to ask oneself before writing, examples of effective and ineffective statements, and resources for further help.
What you will learn
Typology: Slides
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This seems obvious, but many people gloss over the question. You want to analyze the question, answer all parts of the question, and don’t answer a question that is not asked.
Describe your educational goals. Explain your choice of career and what qualifications, skills, and talents you feel you have for your chosen field. Include your plans for financing your education. (If necessary, you may add one additional page for your educational goals.)
PURPOSE
THE QUESTION
Questions to Ask Yourself before Writing:
DO Find a controlling idea for your essay. Smooth prose leaves a
DO Be positive and upbeat in tone.
DO Show that you know something more about the field you have
DO Take your drafts to the College Writing Center or ask a
DO Revise the essay and proofread.
DO Show your final draft to friends. Ask them, “Does this sound like
DON’T Just tell a story. You want to explain your career goals in
DON’T Assume names of people and places give enough
DON’T Write what you think the scholarship committee wants to
DON’T Use clichés or generalities. This wastes valuable space and
DON’T Brag. Trust that your good points will shine through.
I don’t have specific educational goals. (1.)Yes, I want to get a degree in my field but that is not the only thing I want to do. My educational goal is to learn as much as I can from whoever will be giving it to me. I want to do so many things that I don’t even know where to begin. (2.)
(3) Now we are getting somewhere. This would be a good place to give examples of problem solving skills and determination. Relate this statement to something in past, like a class or community project.
(4) While this is a serious consideration, worded this way it undermines determination.
Commentary: This student stumbled out of the starting gate by admitting he/she had no goals. There is very little concrete information in this essay. The vague language does not indicate focus, and the wording does not demonstrate determination. There are no examples to support a love of math or problem solving. The last sentence ends the essay with the same ambiguity of the first: “if I have to.”
EXAMPLE #1 - continued
(1) This is a very short statement of a plan. Plans are not necessarily goals. Goals should be long-term (but not so long-term as to be unrealistic). The plan, as stated here, does not constitute a goal. A career in education will require more than an Associates Degree. The student should give long-term, obtainable goals. He/she should, for example, indicate that he/she has investigated four-year programs for education.
(2) This is a vague statement. “Excellent people skills” is a cliché. It conveys no meaning without examples. The student needs to demonstrate his/her people skills by giving examples and the student should explain what he/she means by an interest in helping young people.
I hope my education will be funded by scholarships, grants or student loans. (3.)
EXAMPLE #3 - continued
(1) This is a very good statement of educational goals. The student is currently pursuing phase one of the goal. Phase two of her goal is clearly planned (notice that she has investigated the program at Eastern Washington). The includes a longer termed goal when she states that she hopes to earn a Masters Degree.
EXAMPLE #5 - continued
(1) This student does an excellent job explaining his/her choice of career. In fact, the reader gets the impression that this student has had a career plan since a young age. The student clearly demonstrates knowledge of his/her chosen career, and he/she more than proves first hand knowledge of the field. This demonstrates excellent focus.
I have always possessed a strong desire to help people. From the experience that I have gained throughout my high school career, I have come to realize that I want to become a physician. I have taken many classes to prepare for my future, such as Advanced Medical Research and Sports Medicine, Medical and Sports Medicine Applications and an independent study, Advanced Research Health Careers. Through the Advanced Research Health Careers class, I had the opportunity to tour various medical facilities, as well as become an American Red Cross certified Emergency Responder. The class is designed for the student who has taken all the medical courses offered and who would like to continue to educate themselves on specific medical careers. Through this class I have researched the career of a neonatal intensive care physician, and I am positive that that is the career I want to pursue. I have volunteered at the Doernbecher Neonatal Care Center, witnessing a cesarean section birth and helping physicians and nurses take care of premature and ill babies. Sports Medicine Applications is a two-hour after-school class where injured athletes come in to be treated and taped by students. While taking this hands-on class, I was assigned to a high school sports team as the official Student Athletic Trainer. As a junior, I was awarded with the Most Improved Trainer award. I competed at the 1999 Sports Medicine State Competition at the varsity level and received the highest state test score on my team. (1)
EXAMPLE #6 - continued
(2) The student has a clear educational plan. The reader feels that the student has researched schools as thoroughly as he/she researched a career choice.
(3) The final paragraph reveals the only weakness in an otherwise excellent essay. The student doesn’t indicate his/her plans to finance his/her education at Clark. While the student clearly has good plans for long-term financing, a statement about financing an education at Clark College should be included.
To achieve my ultimate goal of becoming a physician, I am going to spend my first two years at Clark College, graduating in 2002 with an Associate in Applied Science Degree through the Associate Degree Nursing program. Upon completion of the nursing program, I will take the National Council Examination for licensure as a registered nurse. (2)
I will spend my next six years at the University of Washington School of Medicine, because their medical program is one of the highest ranked in the nation. Because of my degree from Clark College, I will be able to become a registered nurse, which will help me afford to further my education, along with scholarships. (3)
(2) This is a strong section of the essay. The student has clearly worked to save money, and this indicates determination.
EXAMPLE #7 - continued
http://www.freschinfo.com/tips-writing.php Advice on writing the essay
http://www.highschoolstew.com/wtsh/aim.htm Winning the scholarship hunt
http://www.freschinfo.com/tips-writing.phtml Writing the scholarship essay
http://www.freschinfo.com/tipsbill.php Tips on personalizing your application
http://www.freschinfo.com/tips-mistakes.php A humorous look at the top ten application errors
http://www.freschinfo.com/tips-judging.php Insight into the judging process from a national prospective
http://www.internationalstudent.com/essay_writing/scholarship_essay.shtml Helpful tips to get you motivated and help you personalize your essay
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