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Educational Goals: Writing a Compelling Statement for Scholarships and Admissions, Slides of Medicine

College AdmissionsCareer DevelopmentAcademic ScholarshipsFinancial AidCareer Services

Guidelines for writing about educational goals and career choices for scholarship applications and college admissions. It includes questions to ask oneself before writing, examples of effective and ineffective statements, and resources for further help.

What you will learn

  • How can you show that your degree will build on previous experiences and not be a discontinuous one?
  • How can you demonstrate your knowledge and passion for your chosen career?
  • What are the specific experiences and qualifications that make you a good fit for your chosen field?
  • What personal characteristics and skills will enhance your prospects for success in your field?
  • What are your long-term, obtainable goals in your field, and how have you investigated them?

Typology: Slides

2021/2022

Uploaded on 08/01/2022

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EDUCATIONAL GOALS:

CONSIDER THE QUESTION

RTSQ: Read the Stupid Question!

This seems obvious, but many people gloss over the question. You want to analyze the question, answer all parts of the question, and don’t answer a question that is not asked.

The Question:

Describe your educational goals. Explain your choice of career and what qualifications, skills, and talents you feel you have for your chosen field. Include your plans for financing your education. (If necessary, you may add one additional page for your educational goals.)

1. Describe your educational goals.

2. Explain your choice of career and what qualifications you feel you have for

your chosen field.

3. Include your plans for financing your education.

PURPOSE

THE QUESTION

 To give a sense of you as a person.

 To show that you understand the field you want to enter.

 To show that you can think reflectively and sympathetically.

 To show that the degree will build on previous experiences, and not be

a discontinuous experience.

Questions to Ask Yourself before Writing:

 What is unique about my background?

 When did I become interested in this field? What specific experiences

(including work experiences) have furthered this interest?

 What are my career goals?

 What personal characteristics, skills, etc. will enhance my prospects for

success in this field?

DO Find a controlling idea for your essay. Smooth prose leaves a

good impression. A series of short, curt sentences does not.

DO Be positive and upbeat in tone.

DO Show that you know something more about the field you have

chosen than what you have seen on TV or in movies.

DO Take your drafts to the College Writing Center or ask a

guidance counselor for help. Does the essay flow? Is the main

point clear? Do you sound like a real person (preferably an

interesting real person)? Do you have enough detail? Too much

detail?

DO Revise the essay and proofread.

DO Show your final draft to friends. Ask them, “Does this sound like

me?”

DON’T Just tell a story. You want to explain your career goals in

an interesting way, not entertain with descriptive

adjectives.

DON’T Assume names of people and places give enough

information. Describe your activities and experiences as

they relate to your career goals.

DON’T Write what you think the scholarship committee wants to

hear. The committee members can detect b.s. before

opening the packet.

DON’T Use clichés or generalities. This wastes valuable space and

time.

DON’T Brag. Trust that your good points will shine through.

EXAMPLE

(1) Don’t admit this! If you

don’t have educational

goals, how can you answer

the question? Stop now

and make a solid plan.

(2) We are four sentences

into the essay, and the

reader has no clue about a

subject interest. At all

costs, avoid vague words

like “things” and someone.”

If you don’t know where to

begin, should you be

funded while you search

for a goal?

I don’t have specific educational goals. (1.)Yes, I want to get a degree in my field but that is not the only thing I want to do. My educational goal is to learn as much as I can from whoever will be giving it to me. I want to do so many things that I don’t even know where to begin. (2.)

(3) Now we are getting somewhere. This would be a good place to give examples of problem solving skills and determination. Relate this statement to something in past, like a class or community project.

(4) While this is a serious consideration, worded this way it undermines determination.

I am truly passionate about one thing

though and that is math. I enjoy math

and how it works into our physical

world. I think I would succeed in this

field that I have chosen, which is

engineering, because when it comes to

problem solving I don’t easily give up

until I come to a solution. (3.) Financing

my education is probably my biggest

concern. With my parent’s being

divorced and not speaking to each other

I don’t want to be a bother to either of

them. I would work my way through

college if I have to. (4.)

Commentary: This student stumbled out of the starting gate by admitting he/she had no goals. There is very little concrete information in this essay. The vague language does not indicate focus, and the wording does not demonstrate determination. There are no examples to support a love of math or problem solving. The last sentence ends the essay with the same ambiguity of the first: “if I have to.”

EXAMPLE #1 - continued

EXAMPLE

(1) This is a very short statement of a plan. Plans are not necessarily goals. Goals should be long-term (but not so long-term as to be unrealistic). The plan, as stated here, does not constitute a goal. A career in education will require more than an Associates Degree. The student should give long-term, obtainable goals. He/she should, for example, indicate that he/she has investigated four-year programs for education.

(2) This is a vague statement. “Excellent people skills” is a cliché. It conveys no meaning without examples. The student needs to demonstrate his/her people skills by giving examples and the student should explain what he/she means by an interest in helping young people.

I plan to complete the

requirements for the

Associates Degree and major

in Education. (1.)

I have excellent people skills

and a deep interest in

helping young people. (2.)

(3) The final statement on

funding is very weak. The

student “hopes” to have his/her

education funded by

scholarships, grants, or student

loans. This wording implies a

lack of research and planning.

I hope my education will be funded by scholarships, grants or student loans. (3.)

Commentary: This student probably has a career goal, but he/she

has not articulated it. The overall structure technically addresses all

aspects of the question, but provides no detail or insight.

EXAMPLE #3 - continued

EXAMPLE

(1) This is a very good statement of educational goals. The student is currently pursuing phase one of the goal. Phase two of her goal is clearly planned (notice that she has investigated the program at Eastern Washington). The includes a longer termed goal when she states that she hopes to earn a Masters Degree.

I am currently enrolled in the Dental Hygiene

Program at Clark College and will graduate in

the Spring of 2001. After taking a year off

from school to work in the field, I plan to

begin the degree program through Eastern

Washington University (coordinated by the

Dental Hygiene Director) and earn a

Bachelors Degree in Dental Hygiene.

Eventually, I hope to be able to teach at a

college level and earn a Masters Degree in

dental Hygiene. (1.)

(2) This paragraph clearly

defines her reasons for

becoming a dental hygienist.

Her first statement is pragmatic:

the field offers the income and

flexibility required to raise

children. She continues to point

out that she is very familiar with

the field and that she enjoys the

environment of the dentist’s

office. Her enthusiasm for her

career is obvious, and her

desire to be a “calming

presence” indicates that she is

well suited to dentistry.

I have chosen a career in Dental Hygiene

because I know it will provide me with

the salary I need to support my children

as well as the flexibility in hours

necessary for a single mother. I have

several close friends who are Dentists or

Dental Hygienists and they have provided

me with a thorough understanding of a

career in Dentistry. I enjoy the working

atmosphere of a dental office and I am

extremely excited about the field. The

more I learn in the program, the more

passionate I become about dentistry and

helping patient’s achieve optimum oral

health. I believe that I not only have the

ability to become an excellent dental

clinician, but that I will be a friendly,

caring, and calming presence to my

patients. (2.)

EXAMPLE #5 - continued

EXAMPLE

(1) This student does an excellent job explaining his/her choice of career. In fact, the reader gets the impression that this student has had a career plan since a young age. The student clearly demonstrates knowledge of his/her chosen career, and he/she more than proves first hand knowledge of the field. This demonstrates excellent focus.

I have always possessed a strong desire to help people. From the experience that I have gained throughout my high school career, I have come to realize that I want to become a physician. I have taken many classes to prepare for my future, such as Advanced Medical Research and Sports Medicine, Medical and Sports Medicine Applications and an independent study, Advanced Research Health Careers. Through the Advanced Research Health Careers class, I had the opportunity to tour various medical facilities, as well as become an American Red Cross certified Emergency Responder. The class is designed for the student who has taken all the medical courses offered and who would like to continue to educate themselves on specific medical careers. Through this class I have researched the career of a neonatal intensive care physician, and I am positive that that is the career I want to pursue. I have volunteered at the Doernbecher Neonatal Care Center, witnessing a cesarean section birth and helping physicians and nurses take care of premature and ill babies. Sports Medicine Applications is a two-hour after-school class where injured athletes come in to be treated and taped by students. While taking this hands-on class, I was assigned to a high school sports team as the official Student Athletic Trainer. As a junior, I was awarded with the Most Improved Trainer award. I competed at the 1999 Sports Medicine State Competition at the varsity level and received the highest state test score on my team. (1)

EXAMPLE #6 - continued

(2) The student has a clear educational plan. The reader feels that the student has researched schools as thoroughly as he/she researched a career choice.

(3) The final paragraph reveals the only weakness in an otherwise excellent essay. The student doesn’t indicate his/her plans to finance his/her education at Clark. While the student clearly has good plans for long-term financing, a statement about financing an education at Clark College should be included.

To achieve my ultimate goal of becoming a physician, I am going to spend my first two years at Clark College, graduating in 2002 with an Associate in Applied Science Degree through the Associate Degree Nursing program. Upon completion of the nursing program, I will take the National Council Examination for licensure as a registered nurse. (2)

I will spend my next six years at the University of Washington School of Medicine, because their medical program is one of the highest ranked in the nation. Because of my degree from Clark College, I will be able to become a registered nurse, which will help me afford to further my education, along with scholarships. (3)

(2) This is a strong section of the essay. The student has clearly worked to save money, and this indicates determination.

I plan to fund my education through

funds saved, part-time work,

scholarships or grants, and assistance

from my parents. I believe I will be well

prepared for college and especially this

field of study. Being able to discover and

achieve my educational goals in a

vocation that I enjoy and truly find

rewarding will be an invaluable

experience. (2)

EXAMPLE #7 - continued

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http://www.freschinfo.com/tips-writing.phtml Writing the scholarship essay

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http://www.internationalstudent.com/essay_writing/scholarship_essay.shtml Helpful tips to get you motivated and help you personalize your essay

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