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Sentence Style and Variety
What happens when you listen to a speaker who never varies his tone or sentence length? You get bored. And what happens when speakers emphasize the wrong words? You get confused. When you revise, think about ways to vary the structure and length of your sentences so that you can properly emphasize key ideas and maintain your reader’s interest. Since sentence variety helps to clarify relationships between ideas and to maintain the reader’s interest , consider using non-conventional ways to express your thoughts.
The conventional sentence in English is structured with the subject first and then the verb.
Example: Puppies are cute. [ Puppies is the subject; are is the verb.]
This subject-first sentence structure is perfectly suitable, but if it’s the only way you structure your sentences, you’ll bore your readers and miss opportunities to emphasize more important ideas.
Since first and last words are the key places for emphasis in a sentence, think about opening your sentences with a different part of speech, especially verbs, adverbs, adjectives, and prepositions.
- If you want to emphasize action, place a form of the verb first.
Example: Chasing puppies is fun.
- If you want to emphasize the nature of the action, begin with an adverb.
Example: Loudly barking dogs annoy me.
- If you want to emphasize a descriptive element, put the adjective first.
Example: Fluffy puppies feel soft.
- If you want to emphasize location or orientation, place the preposition first.
Example: Underneath the dog’s collar you’ll see a tick.
The parts of speech above will help you with variety of openings, and they’ll also help you to
combine for variety of length. There are many other ways to combine for variety of length,
especially by combining sentences. Consider the following methods for varying the length of
your sentences.
- Vary length by combining sentences with a subordinating conjunction after, although, because, since, while, etc.
- Vary length and openings by combining sentences with a relative pronoun who, whom, whoever, whomever, whose, which, that.
- Vary length and openings by combining sentences with a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.
- Vary length and openings by combining sentences with a semicolon + conjunctive adverb + comma ; consequently, ; however, ; instead, ; therefore,
Exercise A: Varying Sentence Openings Directions: In the following questions, use forms of the verb, adverbs, adjectives, and prepositional phrases at the beginning of sentences. Follow the directions to achieve variety of opening and length. Remember to avoid modifier errors and feel free to modify the wording, as needed, to create an effective sentence.
Example: I failed my midterm. I disappointed my parents, my professor, and myself. [Begin with the verb failing and combine the two sentences to add variety of opening and length]
Revised: Failing my midterm, I disappointed my parents, my professor, and myself.
- He sped down the street. He lost control of his car. [Begin with the verb speeding (participle) and combine the two sentences to add variety of opening and length]
- We have changed our opinion on the matter. We now believe that you are right. [Begin with the verb changing (participle) and combine the two sentences to add variety of opening and length]
- I foolishly disregarded my professor’s suggestions. I ended up failing the exam and the course. [Begin with the adverb foolishly and combine the two sentences to add variety of opening and length]
- The thug brutally smashed the victim’s skull. He was of no conscience the adverb and the two sentences to add variety of opening and length]
- In most cases, gestation occurs inside females. In the case of seahorses, males are the ones who give birth. A. In most cases, gestation occurs inside females, and in the case of seahorses, males are the ones who give birth. B. In most cases, gestation occurs inside females, so in the case of seahorses, males are the ones who give birth. C. In most cases, gestation occurs inside females, but in the case of seahorses, males are the ones who give birth.
- During courtship, the genitals of the male honeybee explode inside the queen. They break off inside her body. A. During courtship, the genitals of the male honeybee explode inside the queen, yet they break off inside her body. B. During courtship, the genitals of the male honeybee explode inside the queen, and they break off inside her body. C. During courtship, the genitals of the male honeybee explode inside the queen, but they break off inside her body.
- During courtship, male anglerfish bite into females. They must hold onto each other in order to reproduce. A. During courtship, male anglerfish bite into females, for they must hold onto each other in order to reproduce. B. During courtship, male anglerfish bite into females, but they must hold onto each other in order to reproduce. C. During courtship, male anglerfish bite into females, nor do they hold onto each other until death.
- Some plants have learned to mimic the pheromones of butterflies. Plants haven’t learned to mimic flight. A. Some plants have learned to mimic the pheromones of butterflies, yet plants haven’t learned to mimic flight. B. Some plants have learned to mimic the pheromones of butterflies, or plants haven’t learned to mimic flight. C. Some plants have learned to mimic the pheromones of butterflies because plants haven’t learned to mimic flight.
- The creature was a reptile. I knew it would have scaly skin and be warm-blooded.
A. The creature was a reptile, but I knew it would have scaly skin and be warm blooded. B. The creature was a reptile, so I knew it would have scaly skin and be warm blooded.
C. The creature was a reptile, yet I knew it would have scaly skin and be warm blooded.
- The snake is likely dying. The reason may be that it has internal parasites or that you overfed it. A. The snake is likely dying, and the reason may be that it has internal parasites or that you overfed it. B. The snake is likely dying, yet the reason may be that it has internal parasites or that you overfed it. C. The snake is likely dying, but the reason may be that it has internal parasites or that you overfed it.
- Crepuscular animals are active at dusk. I come right before sunset with my camera to photograph them. A. Crepuscular animals are active at dusk, for I come right before sunset with my camera to photograph them. B. Crepuscular animals are active at dusk, so I come right before sunset with my camera to photograph them. C. Crepuscular animals are active at dusk, nor do I come right before sunset with my camera to photograph them.
- Some painted turtles survive harsh winters without breathing. They have developed the ability to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide through their skin. A. Painted turtles survive harsh winters without breathing, but they have developed the ability to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide through their skin. B. Painted turtles survive harsh winters without breathing, so they have developed the ability to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide through their skin. C. Painted turtles survive harsh winters without breathing, for they have developed the ability to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide through their skin.
- Hatchling Alligator Snapping turtles are cute. Hatchling Mississippi Map turtles are cuter.
A. The Hatchling Alligator Snapping turtles are cute, and hatchling Mississippi Map turtles are cuter. B. The Hatchling Alligator Snapping turtles are cute, so hatchling Mississippi Map turtles are cuter. C. The Hatchling Alligator Snapping turtles are cute, but hatchling Mississippi Map turtles are cuter.
- You didn’t show any gratitude. They think you’re rude.
- Rick began racing competitively five years ago. He has won several medals.
- My mother cleans the dishes. I wipe the countertops.
- We ate dinner. Then we had dessert.
- You are funny and rich. I don’t want to marry you.
- My mother and father never saved a cent. They never had money for emergencies.
- I love you very much. I don’t love the way your breath smells at this moment.
Exercise D Variety via Conjunctive Adverbs:
Directions: Combine the sentences by choosing a conjunctive adverb that correctly expresses the relationship between the two sentences.
Example: I didn’t study very much or attend class. I failed.
Revised: I didn’t study very much or attend class; consequently, I failed.
In these exercises, use only the following conjunctive adverbs: consequently, however, instead, therefore
- I should have stayed up late and finished my paper. I watched Monday night football, gorged on hot wings, and procrastinated on my Calculus homework.
- You lied, you cheated, and you never said you’re sorry. You no longer have a girlfriend.
- On Thursdays, I usually study before going to the gym. Today, I went to Friendly’s and skipped the gym.
- For a year, I put ten dollars per paycheck into my savings. I still don’t have enough money for hair transplants.
- Jennifer showed up for class, submitted her work on time, and asked for help. She earned an A.
- Richard attended every lecture, completed his work on time, and asked for help. He earned only a C+.
- Although he is friendly, Dr. Jones is an incompetent professor. His students don’t learn much from him.
- Superintendents are highly paid and wield a lot of power. They must show personal and financial restraint.
- Michael is a versatile musician. His mother was a talented guitarist. [Combine using whose ]
- I bought her a puppy. She is the woman I love. [Combine using whom ]
- I can’t find the book. You lent it to me yesterday. [Combine using that ]
- We waited more than an hour for the advisor. He was stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway. [Combine using who ]
- Last summer we vacationed in Nice. Nice is located in southern France on the Mediterranean Sea. [Combine using which ]
