Nonverbal Communication & Listening: Mixed Messages & Emotional Intelligence - Prof. Murr, Study notes of Communication and Development studies

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SPCM 1500 Test 2 Review Ch. 5  nonverbal communication – the intentional or unintentional transmission of meaning through non-spoken physical or behavioral cues  mixed messages – occur when verbal and nonverbal messages contradict each other  nonverbal communication codes – the different means used for transmitting information nonverbally o kinesics – communication through visible body language o vocalics – vocal characteristics with communicative value o haptics – the nonverbal communication code of touch o proxemics – communication through the use of physical distance o chronemics – the way you use time to communicate during interpersonal encounters o physical appearance – visible attributes such as hair, clothing, body type, etc. o artifacts – the things we possess that we use to express our identity to others, such as objects o environment – the physical features of our surroundings  gestures – emblems, illustrators, regulators, and adaptors (kinesics)  five types of touch: o functional-professional o social-polite o friendship-warmth o love-intimacy o sexual-arousal  territoriality – the tendency to claim physical spaces as our own and to define certain locations as areas we don’t want others to invade without permission Ch. 6  listening – an active, complex process that consists of being mindful o physically receiving messages, selecting and organizing messages, interpreting messages, responding, remembering o dynamic, transactional process o the process of receiving aural stimuli  difference between hearing and listening – listening includes receiving, making sense of, and being able to retrieve information (square-rectangle example)  steps of listening:

1. mindfulness
2. physically receiving messages
3. selecting and organizing material
4. interpreting communication
5. responding
6. remembering

 purposes of listening: o pleasure o information o supporting others o comprehension o analysis o discernment  listening styles: o informative o deliberative o emphatic o active  types of ineffective listening: o pseudo listening – only pretending to listen o selective listening – only hearing what you want to hear o defensive listening – perceiving all remarks as a personal attack o ambushing – listening carefully in order to attack the speaker o advising – giving unwanted advice o ego-centric listening – directing conversation back toward oneself o literal listening – listening only for content  external obstacles to listening: o message overload – too much information o message complexity – too detailed and complicated o noise: interfering, distracting physical noise  internal obstacles to listening: o preoccupation – being absorbed in our own thoughts and concerns o prejudgment – we think we already know what is going to be said o reacting to emotionally loaded language – words evoke strong positive or negative responses o lack of effort – not staying interested and involved due to situational noise and physiological conditions o failure to adapt listening styles – not recognizing or adjusting to the need for different listening styles based on purpose Ch. 7  emotions – our experience and interpretation of internal sensations as they are shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, and social experiences  emotional intelligence – the ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively (introduced by Carol Saarni)  James-Lange view of emotion – (organismic view) we experience emotion when external stimuli cause physiological changes in us  appraisal theory – (perceptual view) subjective perceptions shape what external phenomena mean to us

 reappraisal – to change something that has a negative connotation to something with a more positive connotation  display rules – the management of feelings for the purpose of creating a public display o simulation – display emotion not felt o intensification – show stronger than felt o miniaturization – show less than felt o inhibition – show no emotion  framing rules – define the emotional meaning of situations  feeling rules – tell us what we have a right to feel or what we are expected to feel in particular situations  Rational-Emotive Approach to Feelings – using rational thinking to challenge and change debilitating emotions that undermine self-concept and self-esteem Ch. 8  communication climate – the overall feeling or emotional mood between people – warm or cold, safe or anxious, comfortable or awkward, accepting or rejecting, open of guarded – that is shaped by verbal and nonverbal interaction between people  features of satisfying personal relationships: o investment o commitment o trust (leads to self-disclosure)  self-disclosure – the revelation of personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover in other ways  relational dialectics – opposing forces of tensions that are continuous and normal in relationships o autonomy/connection o novelty/predictability o openness/closedness  supportive/confirming climates v. defensive/disconfirming climates o evaluation v. description o certainty v. provisionalism o strategy v. spontaneity o control v. problem orientation o neutrality v. empathy o superiority v. equality  confirmation – feeling known and validated as an individual, 3 levels: o recognizing that another person exists o acknowledgment of that another person feels, thinks, or says o endorsement is accepting another’s feelings or thoughts  disconfirmation – to be told we are crazy, wrong, stupid, or unimportant