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by Richard Linklater Kim Krizan
The Eurail rolls along. Inside, passengers sleep, read, and stare out the windows. A few walk up and down the aisles. CELINE, a young woman in her mid-twenties, is curled up in her seat reading Georges Bataill’s Story of the Eye. Strikingly attractive, she plays it down by wearing no makeup, a loose-fitting vintage dress, and flat shoes. She continues reading while taking an occasional bite of a chocolate bar. Sitting four rows back and on the other side of the aisle, JESSE, also mid-twenties, is engrossed in Klaus Kinski’s memoir, All I Need Is Love. Casually good looking but a little scruffy, he dresses in the jeans and T-shirt mode. Suddenly a couple, two fortyish types who have been arguing semiquietly in the seat behind Celine, start yelling at each other in German. The WIFE takes a swipe at the newspaper the HUSBAND has been screening him behind. WIFE Will you put down that damn newspaper and listen to me? HUSBAND What’ve I been doing the last thirty minutes? Would you shut up for Chrissake? WIFE You shut up! How dare you tell me to shut up! It’s the same damn thing all over again! I can’t believe -- HUSBAND I said shut up! I’m putting down my newspaper and telling you to shut up. Celine suddenly gets up, grabs her bag, and starts looking for another seat. A few rows back, she finds a seat across the aisle from Jesse. Before sitting down, they make brief eye contact and kind of shake their heads and smile at the tension. Just as she settles in and goes back to her book, the wife gets up and storms down the aisle. Jesse and Celine follow her with their eyes, and as she passes them, they find they are looking right at each other. He makes a funny “uh- oh” face.
Really. One was a war veteran, one had murdered her boyfriend, and another had caused a bad car wreck. JESSE So you were the only one who hadn’t killed anyone? CELINE No, I was one of them. Which one do you think? She laughs and he slowly joins her. JESSE I know what you mean. I’ve met some weirdos. There was this British guy sitting across from me the other day who kept throwing his body against the back of his chair, yelling about how we should all join together and stop the train. He was saying, “Everybody, now, we can stop technology. All together...” CELINE So what happened? He demonstrates by throwing his body against his seat. JESSE And you know, me and a few others tried for a while, but we couldn’t stop technology. The wife who stormed away earlier suddenly comes back and the argument resumes, right in front of them. JESSE (CONT’D) I was thinking about going to the lounge car sometimes soon. You wanna go? CELINE We better. They get up and walk to the door of their car. He pushes the DOOR OPEN button, and as the door opens, he extends his hand toward her.
Oh, I’m Jesse. It’s James, actually, but my whole life everyone’s called me Jesse. CELINE So it’s Jesse James? JESSE No, just Jesse. CELINE Celine. They proceed through the door and Celine pushes the DOOR OPEN button to enter the next car. There is some confusion as to who is opening the door for whom before Celine proceeds and jesse follows her toward the lounge car. 2 INT. LOUNGE CAR - AFTERNOON 2 They sit at a table, eating chips and taking an occasional swig from a drink. JESSE So how do you speak such good English? CELINE I went to school for a summer in Los Angeles and I’ve spent some time in London. How do you speak such good English? JESSE I’m American. CELINE I know. It’s a joke. I knew you were American, and, of course, you don’t speak any other language. JESSE Yeah, yeah, I’m the dumb, vulgar American who has no culture. But I tried. I want you to know I took four years of French. I tried, I was ready. When I was in Paris, I was standing in line at the metro going, “Un billet, s’il vous plâit. (MORE)
I visited a friend in Madrid for a while, but mostly I’ve just been... (new thought) I got one of those Eurail passes, and you know what’s fascinating about traveling around? You spend all this time trying to reach your destination, you get there, you look around, it’s never exactly what you’d hoped, you head off somewhere else, and hope for something better. CELINE It’s like getting ready for a party, getting there, and falling asleep. That’s why when I’m traveling I kind of force myself not to expect anything from anywhere or anyone. And then, whatever happens is a surprise. The most insignificant thing can become an endless subject of interest, no? JESSE That’s what I like about traveling - you can sit down, maybe talk to someone interesting, see something beautiful, read a good book, and that’s enough to qualify a good day. You do that at home and everyone thinks you’re a bum. CELINE I like that though. But it’s like my favorite American writers. They describe everything you wouldn’t want to live through, and yet you cannot stop reading of this exciting, boring life. JESSE So what do you study? CELINE Literature. But I haven’t decided yet what I really want to do. JESSE Do you want to write?
Yeah, but... (new thought) I kind of had this obsession a few years ago about creating a new form of expression. It was of course an abstract and lost quest, but I was feeling all art forms seemed used up. I was especially rejecting words. They seemed so rusted and dirty. And they’ve been used for such evil ends. Sometimes, you know, language is so limited. It’s like...if you think about it... She holds her hands out fairly wide and round. CELINE (CONT’D) This is an individual’s mental experience and perception and... She holds her hands together and forms a small circle. CELINE (CONT’D) This is how much can be expressed through language. We just don’t have words for so many of the impressions we have. She parts her hands and gestures to the large outer circle. CELINE (CONT’D) So most of our life we will never be able to express to anyone. They sit there for an extended moment, neither sure what to say next. Suddenly Jesse smiles and jokingly starts to get up. JESSE So I guess...that’s it - it’s been nice not communicating with you. They both laugh. JESSE (CONT’D) Really, though, I basically agree with you, and maybe it’s a sad face of life, but I think it doesn’t bother me that much. Maybe I’m wrong about this, but I think that lack of communication frustrates women more than men.
So you write? JESSE Kinda. CELINE So has this trip been good for you? JESSE Yeah. I mean, on one level, it sucked, but sitting on a train and staring out the window for days on end has actually been kind of great. CELINE What do you mean? JESSE I’ve had an idea I probably would never have had otherwise. Can I tell you about it? CELINE Yes. JESSE Some friends of mine are these cable access producers - you know, anyone can produce a program, and they have to show it. I got really jazzed about it. I imagined a show I want to produce that would last an entire year, twenty-four hours a day. I want to get 365 different video producers around the world to each make their own twenty-four- hour-long document of real time, capturing life around them just as it is lived. So it’d be people waking up, taking a long shower, getting a cup of coffee and reading the paper for twenty minutes, a long drive to work. CELINE You mean all those boring, mundane things everyone has to do every day of their life? JESSE I was going to say the poetry of day-to-day life. (MORE)
I mean, Why is your dog so great just for sleeping in the sun? And a guy getting money out of a bank machine is a moron? CELINE So you can put on the TV at any time of the day and see what other people are doing at the same time. JESSE Right. It’s like parallel lives. CELINE That’s great. I once lived in a big apartment I was sharing with friends, and we could see ten other apartments from the window. I would cut down the light, sit at the window, and watch them sitting on a couch doing nothing. It was fascinating. JESSE That’s the trick. Life is not really about drama. That we all do the same shit and going to some market in Arabia is the same as going to Kmart in Miami. People believe they are missing out, that everyone else has this great and exciting life and they don’t. I mean, we all have to get dressed, feed the kids, get our driver’s licence renewed, look up what time the afternoon matinee starts, lose ourselves in entertainment, lose ourselves in sex, routine, getting a little too drunk, buying a present for someone you don’t like very much - you feel guilty about not liking them, so you spend a little too much money. CELINE So, it’s like a National Geographic program on people. JESSE Exactly.
Parents just want you to have a nice career so they can tell their friends something interesting. (a beat) I musta had a pretty decent bullshit detector when I was a kid. I always knew when they were lying to me. By the time I was in highschool, I was dead set on listening to what everyone thought I should be doing with my life and then almost systematically doing the opposite. They weren’t really mean about it. All their typical ambitions sounded so mediocre. CELINE If you have parents that never fully contradict anything you want to do and are basically nice and supportive, it makes it harder to officially complain. Even when they are wrong. It’s this passive- aggressive shit. I can’t stand it. Jesse takes a swig of water and chews some ice. JESSE Yeah, but despite plenty of bullshit, I still remember being a kid as a magical time. (a beat) I remember my mom explaining death to me, and telling me that my great- grandmother in Florida had died. The whole family had just visited them. I must have been three, three and a half years old. Anyway, I was playing in the backyard a day or so later, and my sister had taught me how to spray the garden hose into the sun and see a rainbow. Well, I was spraying it and through the mist I could see my great-grandmother standing there, just kind of smiling, looking at me. I just held the hose in that position for a long time and looked at her. Finally, I took my thumb off the nozzle, let the hose go, and she disappeared. (MORE)
My parents gave me this rap about how I imagined it and how when people die you never see them again. But, I knew what I had seen, and even though I’ve never seen anything like that since, I’ve never really been very afraid of death. CELINE That’s good you can have that attitude toward death. I think I am afraid of death twenty-four hours a day. That’s why I’m on the train. I could have flown to Paris. I’m just afraid of flying. Even though statistics say it’s safer, I can’t help it. When I’m sitting in a plane, I already can see an explosion, me falling through the clouds. I’m so afraid of the few seconds of consciousness before dying. I mean, when you know for sure you’re gonna die. I can’t help anticipating the worst. Like, I was in the park with this friend of mine. There were little kids playing around. This mother was throwing her child up in the air. My friend was smiling and thought it was so wonderful, and all I could think of was her dropping it. I could already see all the blood on the ground. The big panic, the mother crying...I think like this all the time. It’s exhausting. We see out the window that the train is pulling into Vienna. CELINE (CONT’D) This is Vienna. You get off here, no? JESSE Drag. I wish I would have met you earlier. I really like talking to you. CELINE It was really nice talking to you, too.
I don’t know. All I know is I’m getting on this Austria Airlines flight at nine-thirty tomorrow morning and I can’t really afford a hotel and we’ll probably just wander around all night. If I turn out to be a psycho, you can bail out anytime and get back on the next train, right? She’s still thinking but doesn’t respond. JESSE (CONT’D) Think of it like this. Jump ahead ten, twenty years. Your marriage just doesn’t have that same energy anymore. You start to blame your husband. You think of all the guys you’ve met and all the ones you never pursued and how things might have been different if you’d just picked up with one of them. Well, I’m one of them. You can consider this traveling back in time, to see what you are missing. See, this is really a big favor to both you and your future husband - it’s a chance to see how you really haven’t missed anything. That I’m just as boring and unmotivated as he is, hopefully more. She smiles a little, ponders the situation, and then just stands up. CELINE I’m not sure if I got all the story, but let me get my bag. 6 EXT. TRAIN STATION - LATE AFTERNOON 6 He gets off the train with his bags and starts walking, not fully aware she’s not right behind him. She has hesitated slightly and pauses at the top of the stairs. After glancing back briefly, she looks ahead and proceeds with confidence. 7 INT. TRAIN STATION - LATE AFTERNOON 7 Inside the busy train station lobby, they stop at a change machine and exchange currency.
He finishes putting his stuff in a locker. She opens a locker and stuffs her bag in. CELINE You know what this makes me think of? JESSE What? CELINE All those people you briefly intersect with, maybe make eye contact with, and then pass by. JESSE Yes, we could have done that. Now it’s like... CELINE No matter what happens, we have met. Jesse just smiles and offers up his open hand. She touches her hand to his and there is a slow clasp and a slight pull toward one another. JESSE That we have. 9 EXT. BRIDGE - DAY 9 Walking along in silence, they both are observing what is around them and eventually look back at each other. Fully realizing they are now committed to one another in some strange way, there is an awkward silence. CELINE It’s such a strange feeling. When we were talking on the train, it’s like we were in public - there were people around us. Now that we’re actually walking around Vienna, it’s like we are all alone. JESSE I know. It feels a little awkward. I’m not sure what we should be doing. He puts his hand on her shoulder and looks right at her.
Just tonight. TEX Why did you come to Vienna? What could you be expecting? CELINE We’re on our honeymoon... JESSE Yeah, she’s pregnant, so we decided to go ahead and get married. TEX I don’t believe you. You are not very good at lying. Celine and Jesse laugh while Tex and Karl talk amongst themselves in German. TEX (CONT’D) Do you have the fliers? KARL Yeah, I’ll give them one. Karl digs in his pocket and hands a flier to them. TEX This is a play we’re both in we’d like you to come to. CELINE So you are actors? TEX Not professional actors, but part- time for fun. KARL It’s a play about a cow, and an Indian searching for it. It also has politicians, Mexicans, Russians... JESSE You have a real cow onstage? TEX Not a real cow. It’s an actor in a cow costume.
And he’s the cow. TEX Yes, I’m the cow. But it’s a weird cow. KARL The cow has a disease. TEX She’s acting a bit strange...acting like a dog. If someone throws a stick, she fetches it. She also smokes, with her hoofs. He demonstrates how one would smoke with a hoof instead of a hand. Karl points to the bottom of the flier. KARL The address is on the flier. It’s in the second district... TEX Near the Prater... KARL Yes, the place with the big Ferris wheel. TEX The big wheel everybody knows... KARL Perhaps you can go to the Prater before the play. JESSE So what’s the name of this play? KARL It translates as... BOTH “Bring Me the Horns of Wilmington’s Cow.” JESSE Sounds great. CELINE Cool.