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ANOMALISA

Written by Charlie Kaufman Anomalisa LLc. Version: (818) 955-8977 Final Shoot_0602_v 1101 W. Isabel Street Revised - 10-04- Burbank, CA 91506

**IT IS THE AUTHOR'S INTENTION THAT MICHAEL VIEWS AND HEARS

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD (OTHER THAN LISA) AS ONE PERSON. THIS

IS A REFERENCE TO A PSYCHIATRIC DISORDER CALLED THE FREGOLI

DELUSION.

OPEN

Conversation chatter in the background. Voices overlapping. BOY PASSENGER Hey Ma, look airplane. MOM Huh? BOY PASSENGER Airplane. MOM Uh. Oh yeah. CROSSWORD PASSENGER Who is TV’s Kojack? ANOTHER PASSENGER Darrin Mcgavin. CROSSWORD PASSENGER Kojack not Colchat. ANOTHER PASSENGER Oh. Um...how many letters? CROSSWORD PASSENGER Seven. ANOTHER PASSENGER Do you have any letters already? CROSSWORD PASSENGER Yeah the third letter is a V. I think but I’m not sure. Blank. Blank. Blank. V. Blank. Blank. Blank. Right? ANOTHER PASSENGER Yes. ANOTHER PASSENGER (CONT’D) It’s a bald guy right.

MICHAEL

I said it’s okay. (pause) You can let go now though. INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL Footsteps. A suitcase being wheeled for a bit. Din of people. AIRPORT SPEAKER (O.S.) Robert Hernandez please pick up the white courtesy phone. Robert Hernandez to the white courtesy phone please. AIRPORT SPEAKER (CONT’D) Welcome to Cinncinati North Kentucky airport. While on the moving sidewalk please stand to the.... Michael takes headphones and iPod out of his jacket pocket, he puts his headphones in his ears. Lakme begins to play, drowning out the crowd. EXT. TERMINAL - NIGHT Cars. Chatter. Michael knocks on a taxi window, it rolls down half way. MICHAEL Hello. DRIVER Hi. MICHAEL I need to go to The Fregoli. Downtown. DRIVER Yup. Driver gets out, puts Michael’s suitcase in trunk. Michael climbs in. Car door closes. AIRPORT SPEAKER Ladies and Gentlemen you attention please. No parking or waiting allowed. Unattended vehicles in this area will be towed.

MICHAEL

Thanks. DRIVER Yup. Michael gets in to the backseat of the cab. INT. TAXICAB Michael pulls a pack of cigarettes from his jacket. MICHAEL Can I smoke in here? DRIVER You see that sigh? Driver coughs. MICHAEL Oh. Michael puts the cigarettes away. He sighs and then starts to whistle. DRIVER You’re from England, right? MICHAEL Yeah, I’m from England. DRIVER I can tell by your accent and by the whistling that’s British Airways. MICHAEL It’s Lakme, actually. DRIVER Naw that’s British Airways. Drivers wheezes and coughs. DRIVER Anyway, I have an ear for accents. How’s the weather there now? Good? MICHAEL Well, I’m from there originally. I live here now.

MICHAEL

Uh -huh. That sounds fascinating. DRIVER Damn straight. (pause) DRIVER (CONT’D) Ya, you should check it out. And you gotta try some Cincinnati chili. It’s chili like you never had. Trust me. L.A. Chili? England Chili? Forget about it. They make it here with cinnamon and chocolate and the serve it over pasta. Imagine that if you can. MICHAEL I will try to, yeah. Thanks. Is there a toy store near the hotel? Taxi dispatch chatter in the background. DRIVER A toy store? You mean a TOY store? MICHAEL Yeah toy store. DRIVER Yeah there’s a TOY store about two blocks up. It’s open all night. Real class place. Anyway there’s a lot to see in this city. A revitalized downtown-- MICHAEL I’m only here for a day. DRIVER What? MICHAEL I’m just here for a day. DRIVER I’m sorry. I’m not getting that. The accent. MICHAEL I’m just here for a day.

DRIVER

Well, the zoo then. You don’t need more than a day for the zoo. It’s just zoo-sized. (pause) And the chili. You only need like an hour for the chili. INT. HOTEL LOBBY Michael walks through a crowded hotel lobby to the front desk. DESK CLERK Harris can you get these bags please? Hello. Welcome to The Fregoli. MICHAEL Hi. I’m checking in. Stone? DESK CLERK Welcome, Mr. Stone. (keyboarding) There we go. Michael Stone. Smoking, king-sized bed. And you’ll be with us for just one night, sir? MICHAEL One night. Yes. DESK CLERK I’ll just need to make an imprint of your credit card, for incidentals, and we’ll be all set. MICHAEL I’d like a quiet room, if you have one. DESK CLERK Yes, sir. Of course. (pause) Desk starts to type while staring at Michael. DESK CLERK (CONT’D) I have a charming deluxe smoking junior suite on the tenth floor with a king sized bed. Far above the street noise. MICHAEL That sounds good.

Silence. The elevator doors open. INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY DENNIS Just up here to the left, sir. There you go, after you. They walk out of the elevator in to the hallway. Michael slows down to let Dennis lead the way. DENNIS (CONT’D) Nice weather we’re having. MICHAEL Yeah. DENNIS What? MICHAEL Yes. DENNIS Yes, the weather is very good. (stretching it out) Very, very, very good. It’s 68 degrees fahrenheit. And here we are. Key card in the door. Door opens. INT. MICHAEL’S HOTEL ROOM DENNIS After you, sir. Footsteps on carpet. Door closes. DENNIS (CONT’D) It’s the bathroom. Um, air conditioning and heat controls here. TV remote control. Mini-bar. All self-explanatory, I think. Um, ice machine down the hall and would you like me to get some ice before I leave? MICHAEL No, I’m ok, thanks. Here you go. Michael hands Dennis a tip.

DENNIS

Oh, thank you very much, sir. If you need anything at all, please give us a ring. My name’s Dennis. MICHAEL Thanks. DENNIS Good night. MICHAEL Good night. Dennis closes the door after him. Michael walks in to the bathroom, lifts the toilet seat up with his foot, unzips his pants and pees. Michael sighs. Pants zipped. He flushes the toilet and leaves the bathroom. He walks in to the room, zips up his pants and takes off his jacket and throws it on the bed. He looks at the magazines on the desk and it reads “Try the Chili.” He picks up the TV remote and hits the on button. TV VOICE (O.S.) ...touch the door to the room, if it feels hot, do no open it. Fill the tub with water, soak a towel, and place it in the space at the bottom of the door. If the door is not hot, you may leave the room, but bring your room key with you in case exits are blocked and you need to get back in. He turns the TV off. Flips through a book. Picks up phone. It rings on the other end. ROOM SERVICE Room service. How may I help you, Mr. Stone? MICHAEL Um, I’d like to order some room service. ROOM SERVICE Yes. MICHAEL Um, I’ll have the bibb lettuce salad. And the salmon.

ROOM SERVICE

Very good. It’s...9:13 now. It should be there within 35 minutes, which will make it...9:48. MICHAEL Thank you. ROOM SERVICE Thank y-- Michael hangs up phone. Dials a new number. DONNA (PHONE VOICE) Hello? MICHAEL Hey. DONNA Oh, hi. You just get in? MICHAEL I’m at the hotel. How are you? DONNA Pre-menstrual. Um, how was the flight? MICHAEL It was okay. A little bumpy. DONNA Oh, I hate that. (calling off) Just a minute, Henry! I’m on the phone! Just a minute! (pause) What?! (pause)No it’s Daddy!(pause) MICHAEL Donna. DONNA Daddy! MICHAEL Donna. DONNA Daddy!

MICHAEL

Donna. DONNA (back in phone) He wants to say hi.

MICHAEL

Okay. Donna, I don’t want to -- DONNA Hold on. He’s coming downstairs. (pause) He’s in his pirate suit. (yelling off) C’mon Henry! Daddy’s waiting! It’s long distance! (mumbled) Jesus. (to Michael) Here he is. MICHAEL Okay. Hi, slugger. DONNA (off) Say something, it’s long distance. HENRY (long pause) Hi, Daddy. I’m a pirate. MICHAEL Are you? That’s great. I’m glad to hear your voice. HENRY Did you buy me something? MICHAEL Not yet. But I will. I just got here. HENRY Okay, I love you. Take care. Bye. DONNA (laughing) Well, he gets right to the point, MICHAEL Yeah. DONNA So uh, what else? How’s the room? MICHAEL It’s, you know, it’s a room. It’s nice, I guess. Big Bed. DONNA That’s good, you can thrash about all you like.

He pads to the mini-bar, grabs the ice bucket, pads to the door, opens it, and walks down the hall. INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY Michael smoking a cigarette walking pass an arguing couple. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND You knew I didn’t want to get married. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Yeah well you agreed to it. You’re a grown up. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND Yeah I’m a grown up. You remind me of it everyday. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Well someone has to. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND Bitch. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Asshole. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND You know I’m going. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Where are you going? HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND I’m just going. Fuck you. He opens a door sticks the bucket under the spout of an ice machine and presses the button. Ice clinks down into the bucket. He heads back down the hall into his room, where we hear the faint street traffic noises. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Fuck you. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND Fuck you. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Fuck you. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND Fuck you.

HOTEL GUEST WIFE

Fuck you. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND Fuck you. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Why don’t you fuck off bitch. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND You fuck off. You know my mother was right when she said you were a bitch. HOTEL GUEST WIFE Fuck you. HOTEL GUEST HUSBAND Fuck you. INT. MICHAEL’S HOTEL ROOM He plunks a couple of ice cubes into a glass, opens the mini bar, take out a small bottle of booze, twist the top off and pours it into his glass. He takes a sip. He unfolds the paper again. MICHAEL Thank you. It is my privilege today to talk to you about Customer Service. What it is and why... Shit. He pulls a cigarette out of a package and lights it. He inhales. BELLA I mean, what the fuck did I do, Michael? It’s a goddamn mystery. It’s like the goddamn mystery of the ages. MICHAEL Ah Shit... BELLA One minute we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, and the next... Michael pulls open some desk drawers, looking for something. He flips through a phone book.

MICHAEL

I’m in Cincinnati on business and I thought of you and I looked you up in the phone book and there you were...so...uh... BELLA (pause) It’s good to hear your voice. MICHAEL Yours too. BELLA Ugh, I’m shaking. Jesus, how long has it been? MICHAEL Ten years. BELLA Eleven. MICHAEL Oh, right. I’m married. BELLA Oh. MICHAEL I have a kid. BELLA Oh. That’s great. Congratulations. MICHAEL Thanks. You? BELLA Nope. MICHAEL I’ve missed you. BELLA Yeah. That’s a weird thing to say. MICHAEL I know. I’m sorry. BELLA Well, it doesn’t matter. It’s all water under the fucking bridge. (MORE)

The fucking bridge. Ha. (nervous laugh) MICHAEL Yeah. But I am sorry. I do think about you a lot. BELLA Yeah I guess the postcards must’ve gotten lost in the mail. MICHAEL Do you want to maybe get a drink, Bella? BELLA Oh. I don’t know, Michael. This is all very intense. It’s like out of the blue. I just came out of a stupid relationship with a psycho. I just...I don’t know, I’m not sure you want to be a victim to my current emotional imbalance tonight. MICHAEL Yeah. Well, I understand. BELLA I mean, I could, I guess. I don’t know. Jesus, Michael, it’s been so fucking long. And you just call? Out of nowhere? MICHAEL I’m sorry. It was stupid. Everything’s just screwed-up. I’m not thinking straight. There’s something wrong with me. BELLA Well, Where are you staying? MICHAEL The Fregoli. BELLA La-de-da, you’re doing well. MICHAEL Eh. You know. It’s boring. Everything’s boring.

BELLA (CONT'D)