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Life/Online diary ig?
Mason grabbed on to the wall and dropped down low not on his butt but on his toes yk like when you crouch and I thought of a striper
It’s 12:06 on a Sunday night. I have school tomorrow and we just got back from thanksgiving break. I rlly want to bake something or watch tv. I cant sleep I’m so bored. 11/30/ I’m doing homework and I’m so done with this OurPact Jr. thing. It’s like mom doesn’t trust me or something.It’s 10:39 and I currently don’t have the motivation for school,cheer,or homework. I mean yes I’ll go shopping with Kate but that’s different. 12/28/ Mom grounded me from Discord and is making me delete it from my laptop bc my food was watered down and I didn’t say I did it(which I did not) so she got mad and said I was lying so then I had to lie abt what happened and she said I had to eat every last bite and slurp it all down. Anyways know I’m grounded from discord..yay 1/3/ Mom and dad have Covid. 1/7/ Again I can’t sleep and school is stressing me out bc we were quarantined and I have to go back to school today and I don’t want anyone to ask why I wasn’t there. Also I’m listening to the Kardasim podcast bc it’s very entertaining and funny and I’m waiting for mom and dad to fall asleep so I can get on my computer(which probably won’t happen bc I’ll fall asleep) but yea. Also it’s 12:48. 1/7/ It’s now 1:09 and I still can’t sleep but I’m rlly stressed out abt cheer. I honestly should have done volleyball. I probably would have enjoyed it more and I would look forward to doing it. But also I’ve missed 2 whole practices for Kitty Katz and who knows what we learned there. What if they learned the rest of the dance and I’m the only one who didn’t? What if they made changes and all of a sudden I’m in a completely different part with no clue what I’m doing bc I’ve never done it before? And don’t get me started on Lady Lynx. I don’t even know there whole routine yet. I know the pyramid,all the tumbling passes,and most of dance. THATS IT THATS ALL. What if I don’t have enough time to learn it before comp? What if I mess up at comp and everyone ends up hating me bc I’m new and messed them up and they are mad bc everyone else what perfect and what if I mix up
the dance with Kitty Katz dance? What if I forget where I’m going? What if everyone stays away from me bc I have a mask on? What if I can’t breath bc of the mask and end up messing up? I mean it is only 2 and a half hours so I could probably do it. I did it all of last year. I rlly want to go back into quarantine. It’s so much less stressful and no cheer. Plus calling my friends ALL DAY. Me and Katt did that the first year in quarantine. I have this deep out in my stomach. I’m so stressed out abt everything. School bc I’m just scared to go. But also cheer,going outside,and life in general. God I wanna cry but the tears won’t come out and it’s SO GOD DAMN FRUSTRATING. It happens every time I need to cry. I want to punch a wall every time it happens. What if people ask me questions tomorrow? What do I say? Will people besides my teachers be happy to see me back? What if I’m wayyyyy behind in cheer bc I missed and everyone already knows what’s going on? What if I get kicked off the team bc of it? And mom and dad aren’t helping. They are just making it worse. I love them but come on. This outpact jr thing has me so paranoid. Like they can see what I’m doing? Then they will probably yell at me if I go on a wrong website or look up something I shouldn’t or make Roblox friends bc they seem fun. I feel like mom yells at me for everything. I don’t do my chores as soon as I walk in the door? I get yelled at. I miss place something bc I thought that was where it went but she was having a bad day? I get yelled at. I make fun of Mason jokingly in the slightest? I get yelled at. And speaking of Mason why doesn’t he have to do a sport? He’s the one that wants to but mom and dad don’t have him in one? And yet I’m the one that doesn’t want to be in a sport and I have to be? How is that fair? Plus he gets away with a lot more than I do. I’m sick, he only has to his chores. He’s sick,I have to do his. And if I even do one thing to him the excuse is always,”he’s 4 years younger than you. You should be a better example” Oh yea onto a different subject, my family wonders why I don’t hang out with them.. Maybe bc they are always saying things like “shes probably going back to her room.” “She’s going back to her hidie hole hahah” “Your so ungrateful” “Your an asshole to everyone” “your a bad sister” “You never hang out with your brother and when you do it’s for what? Not even 5 minutes.” “Why don’t you go outside?” “Don’t you like going to school?” “When I was a kid…” “You need to be more social.” “You shouldn’t care abt what other people think bc…” “I was your age once to ik what your feelings bc what it’s like.” etc.. LIKE SHUT UP OK? THINGS ARENT THE SAME AS WHEN TOU WERE A KID. KIDS ARE MEANER KNOW. THEY CYBER BULLY YOU, THEY REAL LIFE BULLY YOU, THEY SAY THINGS BEHIND YOUR BACK PLUS MORE. AND YOU DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL BC GUESS WHAT? SHOCKER SHOCKER, YOUR NOT ME. AND AS YOUR ALWAYS REMINDING ME, EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. Oh yea and Ik I don’t say anything back when mom says something to me while arguing but that bc when I do mom says I’m talking back. But when I don’t say anything I’m ignoring her. And she’s always saying how,”yea well saying it is one thing doing it is another.” BITCH THAT GOES FOR YOU TO!! IF YOU SAY YOUR GONNA FIX THIS AND YOUR SRRY FOR THAT, THEN OWN UP TO IT LIKE YOUR ALWAYS TELLING EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS HOUSE HOLD. AND STOP CAUSING UNCALLED FOR DRAMA. ITS NOT MY FAULT THE FOOD WAS WATERED DOWN IDK WHAT HAPPENED I WAS PRACTICING. GOD I WISH EVERYONE WOULD JUST SHUT UP AND BE QUIET WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW SELECTED PEOPLE!!!
on it. I want my math grade to go up. I want mom and dad not to be disappointed in me bc I got a bad grade. I want to study more. I want the modif 1/31/ Sorry I got cut off last night. Mom and dad were walking outside my room and then walked in. Anyways I’ve been talking to this girl on Lady Lynx and I feel bad for her but at the same time understand where she’s coming from. I may not understand what it’s like to be going through a lot of the stuff that she’s going through but I can listen and give her advice. Plus she gets what I mean when I say I want to stop eating and get skinny. She understands what I mean when I say I want to look like those other skinny pretty girls. I just want to be skinny and pretty. That’s all I’m asking for. And good grades. But how hard is that. I can start getting school lunch and starve myself from morning to dinner. Or maybe just not eat until dinner and have little snacks along the way. Idk. Just something to make me skinny. 2/1/ The girl I was talking abt her name is Zoe and her friend who is going through a lot to is named Iris. I think I’m closer to them than anyone on lady Lynx tbh. Omg speaking of lady Lynx,there’s this one girl her name is Lina btw but anyways she is so touchy and not in inappropriate ways but it just gets kinda annoying yk? Like I don’t mind being touched by certain people bc I also touch certain people most people tbh but something about her just triggers me. I’m nice to her face to face and stuff though bc her mom does my hair for comps and my mom is always like,”you should bc nicer to her. After all she was the first one that was nice to you on your new team.” Like ok and? I’m nice to her but she won’t stop touching me. And btw my mom is going off one time at a comp when I wanted to hang out with my friend Logon who is on Kitty Katz instead and I didn’t want to hang out with Lina bc guess what? We had been hanging out with them the WHOLE TRIP. And don’t think I’m not grateful for her mom doing my hair bc trust me,I am. But Line just makes me mad sometimes and gives me this weird feeling in my stomach. Oh yea and dads mad at me bc I got a 30 in math which by the way got bumped up to a 78 but he says I need it get a B at least. So I’m gonna try and get 2 points up. But the thing is I’m doing great in every other subject. Like I have a 100 in ELA(reading and writing),a 99 in SS(Social Studies so history),and a 92 in science. I think I’m doing pretty well. But not for their standards. 2/2/ EEEEEE ITS GOING TO SNOW TODAY AND EVERYONE IS SO EXCITED ME AND KATE ARE TEXTING ABT IT RN!!!! THE WINDOWS ON THE BUS ARE STARTING FOG UP AND I CANTW AIT. ALSO I DONT AHVE CHEER TONIGHT,NO SCHOOL UNTIL MONDAY,AND ITS 2/6/ I just hit my head on the cabinet. I have a big bump and it hurts so bad. If you think I’m
exaggerating,ask dad. And mom. And Mason. I was in our bathroom and he heard it all the way from the living room. Dad thought I knocked it off the wall. And mom heard it form their room. It hurts so bad oml. 2/14/ As you can probably tell,today is Valentine’s Day! Now I didn’t have a Valentine which is completely fine by me bc I, quite frankly, didn’t want one BUT I got so much candy and chocolate for not having a Valentine’s Day party! And from cheer to! I got a bag form Lady Lynx on Friday, a bag form Kitty Katz today(Monday), everyone in the friend group got a box of chocolate from sandy(it’s French chocolate to! I’ll take a picture),I bought myself some,I got candy from Vy and Nylah to! And my sweet bus driver. Oml i literally love her she’s so nice! She gave EVERYONE on the bus candy-canes before Christmas break and now she gave EVERYONE on the bus Hershey’s kisses. Im bringing her some Hersheys chocolate tomorrow. It’s not much but it’s good! Oh yea and dad and Mason got me and mom a share size pack of Hersheys! It was a pretty good day. Aside from the fact that I had homework. OMG MRS.GURERO IS LITERALLY FAVORITE TEACHER EVER. SHE SO MUCH FUN OMFG. AND SHES SO NICE! SHE KNWOS ME AND VY ARE FRIENDS SO SHE ALWAYS SEATS US NEXT TO EACH OTHER! Speaking of Vy, I have a crush on her anymore. Oh yea and it’s 10:38 and I just finished homework. And we won ACA on both teams and Spirit. I got an ugly ass back pack for spirit the same leather jacket for ACA. Anyways moms coming so I’ll write more tomorrow. Also my windows open bc I used insence for the first time and it smells like a fire according to everyone in this house but me. 2/ It’s 10:41 and I can’t sleep sadly. I’ve tried literally every position I can think of. Anyways, I had group counseling today. For the first time btw. So basically I only knew one girl and her I don’t even talk very much so yea. Anyways everyone in my group is quiet which I really like sense I’m quiet to so no one ever talks to me. I’m really only going to skip class. Mom says I need to make more friends but I’m perfectly happy with the friends I have now (Kit kat(kate),lily,J/Juliet/Haru,Vy,Rorie,and Sandy). Mom says this is my problem that,” I need to be more social” and stuff. I am social though that’s the thing. I say hi to people and smile at them and stuff so that’s social. Anyways mom and dad are fighting so I’m listening to them and am scared for my life that one of them will walk in. Anyways good night and I MIGHT write more tomorrow. Possibly. OH YEA I STARTED WATCHING SK8 THE INFINITY! OMG ITS SO GOOD AND CUTE. LOW KEY MAKING ME WANT TO LEARN TO SKATE. Also me and Kit Kat made an agreement to start volleyball clubs in middle school if ours schools don’t have them so we… actually I forgot why we did it. Probably to remember each other and just for fun. Volleyball so very fun. I might join it next year tbh. 2/15/ Also we aren’t moving back to Utah as soon as we thought:/ but that’s ok bc I get to hang out with Kit kat and Eleanor and J more!
It’s 2:22 I just woke up on accident and can’t go back to sleep. 3/3/ Rorie hit me rlly hard today. And I hurt my neck. It’s fine though. Btw I didn’t hit Rorie back. Also I have a doctors appointment today. We are going rn. It’s just the headlight kid check up thing. Anyways yea. Moms also making me go to bed earlier bc I told her how I feel. She’s making me get up earlier to. 3/6/ I went to bed at 2:30 today watching My Story Animated. I do not regret a thing. We have ppl over rn so I’m listening to Duvet by Bôa. Anyways it’s only 4 kids rn but there will be more later. I’m writing this while handcuffed and being dragged around by a 2 year old. I just got put in “prison”. 3/6/ I told mom that I did self harm once. Which I did. I used scissors and cut. 3/8/ It is 2:01 am and I am waiting for my cake to be ready. I’m taking it out of the oven soon. But at the same time terrified that mom or dad will walk out of there room find me cooking. Literally so scared. I swear I think every move is them. It’s usually the dogs but no chances. I just know mom would kill me if she knew I was up this late. Little do she know I’ve been staying up to 3:00 am for quite some time. It’s not that I don’t want her trust, it’s just that I can’t sleep. The cake will be done in a couple minutes. Anyways it’s a lemon bunt cake. Made from scratch by me. We don’t have vanilla so I had to substitute it with almond. I also zested a lemon for the first time!! It’s was pretty cool but a cut on my thumb I didn’t know I had burned. Anyway it’s almost done and I want to get to bed so mom doesn’t find out till this morning and so I don’t get in trouble. 3/8/ I made it safely! 3/12/ It’s 1:43 am and I just finished jujutsu kaisen. OMFG IM GONNA CRY WHY IS THERE NIT ANOTHER SEASON. ITS SO GOOD FUCK. Also I have to go over to Tony and there house for the weekend bc mom and dad are going a trip for the weekend. Honestly I could have just watched Mason myself. Dads brother was doing it at this age. What a waste of my last days of spring break. And I didn’t even get to see one of my friends during it. Though I did make an online friend and I blocked her bc I was scared mom would find out. It was on discord btw.I feel pretty bad but I meet her through a uquiz so yea. Also I went to open gym for the first time today. It was fun but tiring. That’s all for
tonight. Also I think I might have a small crush on kittkatt. 3/13/ I’m trying to be a good friend. Also it’s 11 3/15/ Me and mom are watching fruits basket. EEEEEEE!!! I FUCKING LOVE FRUITS BASKET OMFG. Also adventure camp is next week so I’ll be gone for 3 whole days!! 3/17/ I think? 3/21/ I just to adventure camp and it’s raining! It’s rlly nice though. The cabin is huge and we are abt to go canoeing. Everyone’s on their phones. But it’s fun! 3/21/ We have a tornado watch. And I’m pretty sure there is one. Also I’m in Anna tx.! 4/3/ I get to go to my first concert on Monday April 11!!!! 4/8/ I just burned my finger lighting my candle 4/10/ I just finished pet sematary with dad. It was kinda disappointing ngl. Honestly I’ve been more scared on roller coasters. But the sister said parts were so scary. 4/13/ It’s 12:44 and I’m literally bailing my eyes out bc mason broke his arm and mom yelled at me bc of something I said and when I was talking to her again I mentioned things dad had done to and now what if she tells dad that I said those things and he hates me or doesn’t accept me as his daughter anymore or sm. Like I still want to be his daughter. I’ve cried more tonight than I have in forever. Asp the concert was fun. Also me and momma made up. I love her sm. I missed her while she was away. 4/15/ It’s 12:09 and I just bailed my eyes out. I finished “this is where it ends” and omfg I was sobbing. It was so sad. 39 dead. 25 injured. And then they did this lantern thing and they had to get the lantern for the family or friend that they knew that lost their lives. They had to see the dead body’s. There
it as ok. Again I said I was fine and I had stopped crying. But she said,”someone wouldn’t cry if they were fine.” She then smiled at me and walked away. It rlly sucked though bc I didn’t eat anything all day to look skinny in front of Katt. Usually I do the same. Skip breakfast. Eat half or a full banana at lunch then eat dinner. But today I didn’t eat anything. Anyways when coach Monica asked if I was and why I was crying coach aiden walked by. He’s terrifying. Anyways he said something under his breath I couldn’t make out. And I’m pretty sure he laughed or smiled. He’s scary. Not like in a scary pedo way. Just in a scary- coach -who-no-one-likes. He also gives tons of conditioning and yells. I saw him give 2 girls 5 minute handstand holds once. So anyways it rlly hurt bc he never actually talks to me. And then mom took karts side saying how she was uncomfortable and stuff. Like it’s not my fault she decided not wear a bra even though I told her to. Also I’m losing weight! EEEE THATS BEEN THE BEST PART OF MY WEEK!! I WENT FROM 134.SOMETHING TO 127.SOMETHING. NOT MUCH BUT PROGRESS!! I’m so tired though. I’ve had staar testing for the past 2 days but tomorrow is the last day so yay. Moms getting me a counselor outside of school. Mainly bc she and dad know abt me self harming and not eating. So now I have to make fake bowls of cereal in the morning. But wtv ig. Idk who I can talk to though. Katt won’t understand and she’s my go to for everything bc she literally perfect, Nyah would understand but idk,Tata would understand but again idk, and mom and dad are uncomfy.I just want someone to listen. Not judge and give me advice. Just listen. They can talk and wtv but idk. I feel empty. Without nyah and kalia and them. Omg I’m in love with oil painting rn. I love them sm. And Pinterest,cute clothes,books,music and podcasts, and studying. Plus cleaning. I love being alone. It feels free. Or something like that. Maybe ig happy? I love my room sm. And dogs. And animals in general. They are so comforting. I love them more then myself. I hate social media rn. Im in love with self care. That’s it for rn gn. 4/13/ I finished staar today. It was a good day. A boy said he liked me but I rejected him. And I have way more friends now. 4/15/ Tomorrow is nyahs birthday!! Also I’m going to my dads from Friday the 27th to 1st of June. Ngl kinda excited 5/21/ This time next week I’ll be in California 5/23/ I’ll be in California in 4 days. School will be over in 3 days. Thank goodness. 6/23/ Me and Nova just watched Im Nayeon new album come out as it was premiered. Literally watched the count down. It was such a good song omg.
Mason is watching Manifest at grandpas and Kalia is ordering me around and telling me things I already know. You have no clue how bad I wanted to pick up a fucking chair and throw it across their fucking faces. It’s so infuriating bc Mason is 7 not 14. And Kaila. I ALREADY KNWO GRANDMA MARY WAS MY GREAT GRANDMA. YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH. NO DUH. I AM SO INRAGED RN OMG. 6/28/ I had my first kiss today. With nyahs friend Jenny. OMG YES. 7/18/ Bro I’m going to sob. School starts next month. I have cute clothes though. OMG THE JEANS ARE SO. I’m so much happier outside of school though. 7/19/ I feel so bad all the time. I rlly just want ppl to leave me alone. To be in my room all day. To not come out. It sounds so nice. Everyone just leaving me alone. No one talking to me. I’ll write more tomorrow but it’s 2:28 am and my phone is on 1%. 7/25/ I got my first period 7/28/ I hate myself. My body is so not fit. I am going to stop eating i do not care. I will do anything to be skinny with an hourglass and gap between my legs. I want to break down. I hate myself sm. I wish I looked like Katt. 8/9/ Literally sobbing.I had to go to my dads for two weeks in the summer and i just love doing that. Plus my stomach hurts and I haven’t eaten today thankfully so I should lose some weight before school hopefully. Evie from thirteen is a liar like girl we all know what happened with you and Javi in the dressing room. Stfu. I love her and I feel bad and feel like Tracy should should have defended her but she had no right to blame it all on Tracy as if she wasn’t the one who got Tracy addicted and stuff. We all now that all that stuff in her room was yours and your aunt knew it to just couldn’t not defend family. I love her but she a liar and a bad friend. Their peak friendship was good though. Before it was toxic and Evie and Tracy were bad for each other it was a good friendship. And I miss it. I wish it’s oils have had a better ending but it didn’t. And the fact that it was Nikki Reeds actual experience at thirteen is crazy. My girl was rlly sucking a guy off at thirteen. Couldn’t be me. But it’s so frustrating bc the aunt knew they were drinking and smoking and doing drugs and didn’t care at
much older than I am but I’m like that bc I was always told that growing up. Ik I’m still growing up and stuff but I was always more mature and stuff. I just wish they would stfu. Like pls leave me alone. I love them sm. But they don’t know anything and they think they know everything. And they keep saying “no more secrets no more lies” like I don’t want to tell you anything for a reason. I did at one point but not anymore. But why Spotify? I was literally bo joke sobbing earlier bc I wanted Spotify to stay. How am I going to survive without it? Spotify is my life support. It keeps me going. Why me? One slip up and now I have no privileges or privacy. Not that I had any to begin with. Honestly, I get that there’s weird ppl on the internet but they should be able to trust me enough to know and think “hey my daughter is trustworthy and wouldn’t talk to weird ppl online anymore!” And I did it then bc I was starved for affection and attention. I wanted that still want it so bad. I want someone to love me. I’m so tired of everything. I wouldn’t mind dying. I would like to die actually. I don’t understand why they think we need to spend more time together. Like why? I don’t want to. Why do they think I’m always in my room? Bc I like being in here. It’s so nice and comfortable. 9/15/ Mom and dad rlly dont trust me bro like I get at this age we are curious. At all ages rlly but like be fr pls. Like what they expecting to find? A porn site like some kids in my grade are way worse. They should be thankful. I don’t rlly care abt anything anyways. That’s a lie. But stuff like that yk? Also I’ve been seeing black and white spots whenever I move to fast all day. Like ik I haven’t been eating much but like I didn’t know I would be so close to blacking out 9/18/ It’s 2:34 am. I just woke up. On accident ofc. But anyways I’m sick sadly. Not rlly just a stuffy nose. It’s wtv 9/19/ I wrote the one above this today. I was just rlly tired. I’m throwing away all my pencil sharpeners that I got out. Not rlly. But the cut on my thigh hurts rlly bad. No one knows ofc. But I’m scared bc what if they do see it? What do I say. The ones on my ankle are from scratching to hard and falling at recess. The ones on my calf is from being in the middle of a fight with the dogs. Same with the one on my upper thigh. Ok we’re good. I was sitting down petting one of the dogs when the broke out in a fight. I got scratched and thats it. It’s not a big deal. It hurts but I makes me feel better in the moment. But I don’t want to have scars yk? Even if it makes me feel better it doesn’t matter. Plus I don’t mat to see moms face when she finds out. I don’t rlly remember how Zoe’s parents reacted but I don’t think it was good. I know all of Zoe’s secrets. She would tell me. I liked that. I liked feeling needed by her. I liked knowing I was part of something and by not telling anyone our bond grew stronger. I just want that with other ppl. And yk something. I was playing guilty with Ivy and viv today and guess what they told me. They said,”yk your not rlly the most sad out of all of us. Your probs the happiest.” I was like “what?” Just cause i don’t talk abt my problems doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I don’t even like being alive what do they mean. Honestly I love them but why would they
assume? I don’t understand. They don’t understand. Also I feel guilty when I eat. I also feel guilty after I cut. I just want them to go away. The cuts I mean. Im so scared someone will find out. But if they do I would hope it’s one of my friends and not my parents yk? What am I going to do? What if we go somewhere and I have to where like a swimsuit or smth? Oh god. Im so scared. I can explain but they won’t believe me. My actions my concise. I kinda want them to find out but I don’t yk? Like I want help but I’d not need it. But I need it. But I don’t want to talk to them abt it. Also I put Vaseline on the cuts so they heal better and faster. 9/20/ Bro I fucking over shared. NOOOOOOOOO. Why. Why. Why. Why. I didn’t mean to. 9/20/ I hate over sharing. Why did I ahve to over share? How is it already September? Ima is tired and done with everything. Tim will probably tell everyone what we talked abt. I’m so excited for that. I literally want to kms. Im so tired of everything. I cant. Who would care if I died? Nvm I can’t leave the dogs behind. Or Katt or anyone. I wouldn’t get into anything good then. I hope in my next life I’m reborn as someone who’s naturally skinny and smart and pretty. She gets good relationships and is kind. She has dark hair. She’s so pretty. She gets into college on a full scholarship and gets into an Ivy League school. She’s kind and understanding. Introverted and quiet. She likes reading and Spotify. She has my dream style. She gives good advice and watches what she says. Her parents trust her. She likes hello kitty. She never talks abt her problems. She’s not a pick me. Her parents never look through her stuff. Etc… 9/25/ I almost got fucking played. I fucking hate him sm. He’s a fucking bitch and he does it to every girl. I’m going to start being rlly dry. Leaving him on open etc.. he’s a fucking liar. He made up things that didn’t happen and thought he was special just cause I said I like talking to him as if I don’t say that to everyone. I feel stupid. I hate boys. So immature. I’ll live bi-curiously through everyone else until 8th or 9th grade. I’m so fucking done. I say that to everyone. I cant wait to go to school tmrw and ignore him. I’m abt to sob. I wish I never met him. Why did this happen to me? I feel so bad for viv. She did get played. He writes paragraphs abt every girl he likes. Absolutely not. He’s going to move to liyana or smth next watch. And he said he likes my thighs. Absolutely not. That made me so uncomfortable. I hate that. Ew. I want a good healthy relationship. So I’m going to wait till they mature a little more. And what is dating in 6th grade doing to do anyways. We are to young. We still have sm to experience. I just wanted a guy friend. Why did I have to almost get played? He is such a waste of my time. Why did I waste my time on him? I have sm to do other than think abt him. It’s almost October. I hate him. I’m leaving him on open. He’s a fucking player. Good for Tina for not liking him in the first place. I cant. I don’t want to go to school tmrw. I need a mental health day. There’s to much. It’s all to much. I can’t anymore. I’m never enough for myself. I tried to fill that gap by getting his validation. He gives that validation to every girl. He acts as if I don’t act the same with
Nvm I’m abt to date him. But bro I’m so close to relapsing like it’s not even funny. I’m fighting the urge to go under my bed and pick up those sharpened 9/27/ Bye now I just broke up with after like a couple hours 10/2/
