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This capstone highlights Baumrind's four parenting styles and how they have shape the Western parenting world. Authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and ...
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Parenting Styles and Their Impact on the Socialization and the Parent Child Bond between Parent and Adolescent. by Jessie Sidhu
A capstone completed in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of
Master of Counselling (MC)
City University in Canada Vancouver, BC, Canada Site
May 2022
APPROVED BY Dr. Bruce Hardy, Advisor, Master of Counselling Faculty Chantelle Lam
School of Health and Social Sciences
Abstract This capstone highlights Baumrind’s four parenting styles and how they have shape the Western parenting world. Authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting have been studied various times and by various people. The Western style of parenting, which is typically authoritative is seen as the golden standard of parenting whereas the eastern parenting which is typically authoritarian is seen as an “overbearing and strict” parenting style. This capstone also goes through the eastern and Western bias in parenting literature. So what makes a great parent? What helps foster a healthy bond between parent and adolescent? If it is not a certain parenting style, what is it? Although we have these parenting styles and a lot of research it is important to understand what makes a parent - adolescent relationship strong. This paper shares a program 7- week program designed for adolescent children to attend with their parents to help foster a positive and healthy relationship. It helps teach the skills needed in order to help build that relationship. Keywords: Parenting styles, adolescent parenting, student success, social/academic success, four parenting styles, Eastern and Western parenting, parenting, parenting education program, parenting practices, Attachment Theory and adolescents, socialization
Dedication This paper is dedicated to all the immigrant parents who did their best in making sure they raise strong, caring and intelligent children. I see you, your struggles of making it in a foreign country do not go unnoticed. A big thank you to the villages that supported those parents in raising their children. It truly takes a village.
Chapter One: Introduction This capstone aims to address the research around parenting styles and practices and how that impacts the socialization of adolescents as well as the parent child bond. Parenting comes with having children, you can be emotionally present and available for the child or not but once you have the child the upbringing of the child becomes the responsibility of the parent. When an individual does something good or bad, inevitably professionals become curious of their childhood and how they were raised. There is a universal understanding that parents and their parenting style impact their children in more ways than one. Parenting styles were first introduced in 1966 by Baumrind, who introduced three parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. In 1983 uninvolved parenting was added, creating the four parenting styles that are widely recognized today (Kuppen & Ceulemans, 2019). Although Baumrind introduced the parenting styles, in 1983 Maccoby and Martin further explained the parenting styles based on two important dimensions: demandingness and responsiveness. Maccoby and Martin started the discussion of considering parenting styles to be a factor for potential impact on child development. This then brought up parenting styles to start becoming a point of research for many. Parenting theories are often talked about and researched when a child is a baby, even attachment theory is based off of early attachment as a baby (Flaherty & Sadler 2011). Attachment theory primarily comes from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth from the 1960’s to 1980’s. Attachment theory states that the attachment between caregiver and infant sets the precedent for further relationships for that child (Flaherty & Sadler 2011). This shows how important the relationship between caregiver is even at birth. Parenting starts becoming more complex as children move into the adolescent phase of their lives. But the research available is focused on earlier developmental stages. I am interested
in creating a program that would help parents and their adolescent children connect and learn how to communicate with one another. Through mainstream media and through our own experiences, teenagers are known for not listening to their parents and trying to find their own autonomy in their life. Through this stage in an adolescent’s life is when their parents need support on how to best support their children rather than fight with them over what they already know is going to happen. Parents fall into many categories so placing them within four boxes seems next to impossible. There are a lot of factors that come together and allow an individual to parent the way that they do; for example, culture, religion or socio-economic status play a huge part in the way people parent their children. Eastern and Western cultures create different parents as they have different sets of beliefs. As research is primarily focused on Western parenting, this creates a divide in the eastern and Western parenting ways and research points to Western parenting being the gold standard of parenting. Through this paper parenting will be explored in the eastern and Western lens. Contributions to the Field It was important for me to understand parenting styles and behaviours and how they impact a parent- child relationship, especially when that child is in the adolescent phase of their life. Parents and any others who are working closely with children need to understand what the adolescent stage is and really understand the developmental stage in order to help foster healthy relationships with the adolescents. Kapur (2015) shares that adolescence is” the stage of development that is marked at the beginning by the onset of puberty and at the end by the attainment of physiological and psychological maturity” (p. 233). This is the stage in which adolescents start to find themselves while they have a lot of other physiological changes
To help the adolescents not see this support as judgment it is important to understand how to have a healthy communicative conversation with the adolescents in your life. It is important to understand the hardships of the adolescent stage as these details as this helps us understand how to parent or even work with youth that seem difficult to empathize with. Adolescence is a tough space to be in, they need support from all the adults around them. My intention with this capstone is to highlight the connections that are needed for parents and therapists to have a strong connection with their children or the children they work with. As a counsellor or anyone who is working closely with families and children, we need to have an understanding of family structure and the various parenting styles. It is also vital to understand how parenting in different across cultures so is the adolescent development and the beliefs they bring into their own development. It is important to consider all of these factors when working with adolescents, families and parents. Theoretical & Conceptual Framework This paper will very briefly touch on attachment theory framework for adolescents. No Theoretical framework was used in particular. This paper is based on research regarding parenting styles and parenting practices. Positionality Statement The way we choose to raise our children may be directly related to what we felt our parents did “incorrectly” with us. Parenting styles differ not only across the globe but across the street. Each person, couple, and family decide what is best for them and their child. Everyone has their unique ways of raising their child or children. But do these parenting styles affect children and their relationship with their parent? Which parenting style, if there is one, creates an emotionally and socially successful child? How do parenting styles impact adolescents? Do
parenting styles impact our adolescence? As an elementary school teacher these questions intrigue me. I have been teaching in Surrey, British Columbia for about four years. I work with grades six and seven, the adolescent children in elementary schools. I am interested in how parenting style tends to affect the lives adolescent children. I have seen a lot of different learners in my class that vary in their academic achievements, behaviours, emotional regulation, and social skills. I have never been able to see the latter, the parenting style that these children have been raised with. The parenting is done at home, and I am just observing the success or the opposite at school. Looking back at the way I was raised I constantly wonder if I would raise my kids the same way. A lot of times the answer is I’m not sure. I did not have a traumatic childhood, I remember laughing, playing and spending time with my family. My family was a village, I grew up in a joint family with my uncle, aunt and their three kids along with my parents and two siblings. Last but not least, that village included my grandparents. That is a total of six adults and six kids, twelve people! At any time of the day, I had a parent, it didn’t have to be my biological parent, but I was supported in every direction possible. I was raised by a village, that village was primarily my grandparents. My grandparents are the foundation of who I am who I continue to be. I learned how to live and how to be me under their watch. My parents were immigrants from India, they both worked extremely hard to provide for my sister, my brother and me. I was raised by grandparents. The sole reason my grandparents came to Canada was to provide care for their grandkids. My grandparents worked hard to raise us in a foreign country, with a foreign language that neither one of them spoke. In my household I learned to speak Punjabi before I ever learned English, I did not have my parents taking me to practices on the weekends or helping me with
children. It is important to understand parenting styles and practices, but it is equally important to ensure that is not all we are seeing. Parenting styles and behaviour may alter, it is skills that are learned that help build a relationship between parent and child that fosters a welcoming and safe relationship. Outline of Capstone Project Chapters Chapter one provides an overview on the topic being researched throughout this capstone and also gives the authors positionality statement towards the topic in question. Then chapter two provides a literature review for parenting styles, parenting practices and the differences between them. This chapter also provides a deep dive into previous research that explains how parenting styles and practices impact adolescents and children in their development and socialization. This chapter also briefly shares how attachment theory works with adolescents. Furthermore, this chapter highlights the debate of Eastern and Western parenting as Western parenting is seen as the gold standard parenting. Lastly, some literature review is provided on parenting programs and how they impact parenting. Finally, chapter three provides an explanation for the hopes of further research that needs to be done in this subject area. It also provides a detailed seven-week lesson plan for a parenting group called “The Village”. This group hopes to help parents connect with their adolescents and create more meaningful relationships as well as add more effective communication strategies to help blossom a healthy relationship between parent and child.
Chapter Two: Literature Review What are the Four Parenting Styles? According to Diana Baumrind’s (1971) ideologies there were three parenting styles that parents fell into: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. But, in 1983, Maccoby and Martin came up with a fourth: uninvolved. These are the four parenting styles that are most commonly seen and researched. The four most widely researched parenting styles differ within the involvement and type of involvement parents have in the lives of their children. There are two primary factors that help us determine the parenting style and they are demandingness and responsiveness. Responsiveness is the level in which the parent(s) respond to the child’s needs whereas demandingness refers to the level of control, demands or expectations parent(s) have from their children (Majumde, 2016). These two factors combined help differentiate between the parenting styles and in understanding them better. Permissive Parenting Permissive parenting is seen as “low in demandingness” and “high in responsiveness” (Majumde, 2016, p. 90). This means these parents do not ask of much, do not have boundaries and are more of a friend than a parent. These parents “hand over control without guidance” (Kang, 2014, p. 33). Children of permissive parents often do better academically than children of uninvolved parents, these two parenting styles cannot be compared to authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles because both uninvolved and permissive parenting is seen as the lowest form of parenting as the parents are not available emotionally or structurally. Dr. Shimi Kang (2014) calls these parents the “jellyfish parents” as they do not have a spine. These parents do not have many rules and they tend to “turn a blind eye” when they should be parenting. Children of permissive parents are known to “lack self-control, low self-esteem and low
Authoritative Parenting This parenting style is said to be “high in responsiveness” and “high in demandingness” (Majumder, 2016 p. 90). This is usually seen as the high standard in Western parenting. The parent that is able to be there for their child unconditionally but also has the expectations set so the children know exactly what is expected of them. Authoritative parenting style was found to be the best style according to a study done by Majumder in 2016. The study yielded the results that the children who were raised under authoritative parenting were anticipated to have about 1.1 more years of schooling over the kids raised in uninvolved or permissive parenting (Majumder, 2016). Baumring (1978) saw authoritative parents as “warm and responsive” these parents were there to ensure their children were able to take the path in life that was chosen by the child and not the parent (as cited in Spera, 2005). These parents typically provide reasoning for their parental actions, so the children are able to understand why a choice has been made by the parent. Kang, who is of an eastern background, does not see the authoritative parenting as the gold standard parenting that it is seen as by most of the Western world and its literature. She believes that authoritative parents can just as easily “overindulge” their children because it is seen as the “best” (2014). These overindulged children are seen to have a “lower sense of independence, self-reliance and personal problem-solving capacities” (Kang, 2014, p. 32). Uninvolved Parenting There was limited research on uninvolved parenting. It is just as it sounds. It is also known as “neglectful parenting.” This type of parenting involves “low demandingness and low responsiveness” (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2019. p. 172). Children who were raised by neglectful parents had the poorest development; this outcome has been replicated by numerous studies. Children of neglectful parents are also lacking in self-regulation skills and social responsibility,
these children often exhibit “poor school competence” (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2019). This parenting style seems to be on the extreme end of parenting which would be viewed negatively by all. Parenting Style vs. Parenting Practices As stated above parenting styles are measured by how responsive and the level of demandingness of the parents towards their children otherwise known as the “emotional climate” a child grows up in (Baumrind, 1991, as cited in Spera, 2005). The parenting practices are how the parenting styles are put into practice. These parenting styles refer to actions the parents exhibit in order to socialize their children. Socialization “refers to the manner by which a child, through education, training, observation, and experience, acquires skills, motives, attitudes, and behaviors that are required for successful adaptation to a family and a culture (Parke & Buriel, 1998 as cited in Spera, 2005 p.126). These behaviours from parents help the child become enriched in a culture and family. For example, if a parent were to socialize a child to do well academically, a parent may put importance on completing assignments and being on time for school etc. (Spera, 2005). These are behaviours the parent puts into practice in order for the child to take on certain values and beliefs. Although socialization and parenting behaviours may seem like the perfect way to raise a successful child, the process of socialization is not always accepted by the child. The parent may attempt to socialize their child to hold a certain belief or value but the child may “vary in their level of acceptance, receptivity, and internalization of these messages” (Spera, 2005 p. 126). Just because parents try to have their children act and behave a certain way does not mean they will. Even with the best of intentions parents cannot have a guarantee on how their child will be. What children receive from parenting practices is different for all children, they could
situation or event that is taking place with their child. To solely pick one parenting approach and categorize oneself, as a parent, fits that style could be difficult. Within the four parenting styles, it is not a surprise to believe authoritative parenting is believed to be the best for children. Children of authoritative parents are said to do better in school and were more likely to continue onto higher education (Sahithya et al., 2019). These children also were less likely to become involved in any substance abuse issues in the future. Even having one authoritative parent providing the responsiveness, warmth and demandingness helped the child do well both academically and socially, but if the mother is the authoritative one the child tends to do better than having an authoritative father. However, having two authoritative parents is optimal in child success (Sahithya et al., 2019). These children also do well socially, they have high self-esteem and overall life satisfaction. So, most studies show authoritative parenting helps have happy and healthy children. Along with all the individual success that authoritative parenting presents, authoritative parenting families have the highest level of interaction amongst themselves (Garg et al., 2005). The high family interactions could go hand in hand with the low suicide rates and low levels of depression that are found in children of authoritative parents (Sahithya et al., 2019). When time is spent with the families, strong relationships are built which are a foundation to trust in families. One big factor that contributes to the parenting style that becomes adopted by parents is socio-economic status. Mayo and Sirai (2015) talk about how many studies across the board conclude, children that come from lower socioeconomic status typically do not do well in school compared to children of higher economic status. Although, socioeconomic status is a big contributing factor to academic success of children, it was also noted that another important factor was how parents shaped the learning experience of their children (Mayo & Sirai, 2015).
For example, are the parents still in control of their child’s learning experiences? Are they actively working with them or enrolling them in preschool and letting them explore and develop skills needed for academic achievement? (Mayo & Sirai, 2015) If so, that is a big part of how children do in academic settings. Lower socioeconomic families have children that have much more sway over their spare time because they have more spare time than those of higher socioeconomic status (Mayo & Sirai, 2015). During those longer periods of spare time, these children tend to be involved in child-initiated play and interact more closely with their families or caregivers. In lower socioeconomic status families, this management of learning and skills becomes difficult due to parents usually working and not being able to spend that learning time with their children or having the financial means of enrolling their children into extra programs such as preschool. This is why the overall notion of lower socioeconomic status children is that they do not do well academically. Each parenting style seems to have some pros and some cons. Even for the authoritative parenting, that is usually seen as “the” parenting style that should be adopted by all, too much of it could negatively influence the child. Too much of any parenting seems to become neglectful and only serving the parents rather than the child(ren). Many studies indicate authoritative parenting results in the child being successful academically. But if one dives into the research and understand what they are trying to say the relationship between the parenting style and the level of success is not that strong. A lot of the studies determine the parenting style by surveys which the parents fill out themselves. Parents are filling out questionnaires about their own parenting style. An example of a questionnaire used is parenting guideline questionnaire (IPC) (Checa & Abundis-Gutierrez, 2017). The IPC questionnaire has 37 questions that group parents into either coercive parenting
