Everything in life needs understanding., Study notes of Family and Consumer Science

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UNDERSTANDING MANTRA

Everything in life needs understanding. If you

play a sport you must know how to play it. To

understand it. If you hear someone talking in a

language of any kind you have to understand it to

hear it’s purpose. To have a spouse with no

understanding would be very uncomfortable.

Mutual understanding is the key to a successful marriage.

Marriage is more about commitment than togetherness Most married couples live together, and that certainly is good for marriage. But being together isn’t enough. The partners in a marriage need to be sharing and caring. They should support and trust each other during thick and thin times. The strong commitment makes your marriage work even if you’re separated due to work or other circumstances. The element that glues two individuals in a marriage is not sex but commitment. The understanding in marriage leads to more intimacy in relationships than that comes out of sex in marriage. Remember, a good marriage leads to good sex, and not the other way around. It includes commitment, compassion, care, respect, and being there for each other. Having these elements make sex in a marriage all the more wonderful.

Marriage is like a roller coaster ride and has its ups and downs The journey is not always smooth , it has many challenging and down times. But what matters is that you hold on to each other till the end of the ride. All that ends well is well. You need to nourish and flourish with love to make it stable and stronger. The times of crisis are the testing times of your marriage. Financial crises, medical crises, emotional crises – if you aren’t together in such times, the marriage loses its sheen. Marriage does not come with a lifetime guaranty or warranty. Being married does not mean there are going to be no differences or disputes. There may even be days that the married couple do not see or touch each other. In spite of that, you need to be committed, honest, and loving.

if you are in a relationship and you feel stressed and

misunderstood, I encourage you to take your first step

toward understanding. Try to become aware of your

partner. What does he / she want, need, or desire? When

you learn this, you will be well on your way to a better

relationship; one with love, security, and ,above all,

understanding

some couples learn how to resolve hurt feelings

with an apology. It might go something like this,

“I’m sorry I was harsh and said that to you,” This

works in getting the couple back on even footing,

until the next bit of misunderstanding, but most

couples don’t really know how to talk about what

they want from their partner so they end up

feeling frustrated.

Why love for her and respect for him? The assumption is that a wife needs love. Since she needs love she is certain to hear words of love and negatively react to unloving tones. Likewise, a husband needs respect. Since he needs respect he is certain to respond to words of respect and be less than positive when hearing disrespectful expressions.

Give time to yourself to understand your better half. Note down their likes and dislikes somewhere and observe their pace of advancement in the marriage. If you have known each other before marriage learn how marriage is affecting him/her. Try and understand what is making them feel good and what is bothering them.

Be aware of your own feelings and motivations. Learning how to understand another person can be difficult if you don’t even understand yourself. How well do you know yourself? What are the things that make you happy, sad or angry? How do these feelings motivate you? How do they help you make decisions? If you know the answers to these questions about yourself, then it can be easy for you to look at your partner and understand their own struggle.

Never impose your own ideals and beliefs. No matter how much you think that you are better than your partner in terms of experience, maturity or even in intellect, never impose your own ideals and beliefs. Doing so will only leave you blind and unaware of how they truly feel. If you want to be an understanding partner in a relationship, you should realize that respecting your partner’s own convictions and accepting their own beliefs as a part of who they are, are necessary if you want to keep your bond stronger.

Respect your partner’s needs as a social being. Let your partner go out with their friends or spend time with their family. Let them travel solo and live their life to the fullest even in your absence. Most importantly, let them pursue that personal goal and encourage them to go out into the world and reach their greatest dreams.

Remember that you are not always right. In relation to the previous section, being an understanding partner means listening to what the other person has to say. You are not always right and most of the time, trying to prove that your views, ideas, and judgment are more acceptable can hurt your partner more and can even lead to an argument instead of a resolution.

Give your partner time to explain before reacting. When you think that your partner did something that made you feel angry, upset or disappointed, give them a chance to explain. Hear their side of the story and don’t be quick on your judgment. Sometimes, people in a relationship tend to choose anger and react damaging emotional outbursts before actually talking to their partner.

Understand your partner’s intentions and motivations. Learning how to be understanding especially when your partner did something wrong perhaps is the most challenging thing to do, especially if you feel hurt and betrayed. However, you have to find the strength and the love to listen, with full sincerity. Most importantly, you have to have faith in your significant other and give them the chance to understand their intentions and what motivated them to do so.