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GHOSTS
Lesson of death
Twelve schoolboys were shocked to see their class-mate John Daniel sitting at his desk. For seven weeks earlier John had been found dead 200 yards from his home in Beaminster, Dorset. His death had been recorded as "from natural causes" after his mother said he suffered from fits. After questioning the 12 boys, local magistrate Colonel Broadrep ordered the body to be exhumed, and an inquest revealed that John had been strangled. The murderer was never caught. ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Ghostly barking
Norma Kresgal, of New York, was awakened by the barking of Corky, her collie dog. But Corky was dead. Mrs Kresgal got up to investigate and found that her house was on fire.
Girl in a raincoat
A limping blonde girl in a pale raincoat has startled several motorists on the A23 road north of Brighton, Sussex. In 1964 one driver saw her dash to the central reservation and vanish. In 1972, several people said they saw her north of the village of Pyecombe. She may be the ghost of a young girl killed in a motor-cycle accident in the area. ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
Legions of the lost
In 1887, a British officer took a holiday in the Thuringian Forest in what is now East Germany and saw a Roman legion march past him as he sat by the roadside. He found later that he was on the site of a battle between the Romans and a German tribe 2,000 years earlier.
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀ Face in the floor
One of the world's most puzzling ghost stories began on an afternoon in August 1971, in a cottage in the Spanish village of Belmez, near Cordoba, in Andalucia. An old woman was busy in the kitchen, preparing the evening meal, when her grandchild started to scream. The grandmother turned from her oven and saw a tormented face stare up at her from the faded pink tiles of the kitchen floor. When she tried to rub the vision out with a rag, the eyes opened wider, making the expression of the face even more heart rending. The woman sent for the owner of the house. He ripped up the tiles and replaced them with concrete. But three weeks later another face began to form in the new surface, even more clearly defined than the first. The owner called in the authorities, who excavated one section of the floor, and found what seemed to be the remains of a mediaeval burial ground. The floor was repaired, but soon faces started appearing all over the carefully laid concrete, first one, then another, then a whole group. The kitchen was locked and sealed off, but faces began to appear in other parts of the house. Investigators moved in with ultra sensitive microphones, and picked up agonized moans and voices speaking in a strange language, sounds undetectable to the human ear. But before anyone could discover what they were, and why they were there, the faces and sounds just melted away, as suddenly and as mysteriously as they had arrived.
DEFINITIONS
Listen and choose the correct one.
Example: 1. It's smaller than a piano; it's got more strings than a violin. Answer: guitar
- piano clarinet organ guitar violin
- cloud snow sun ice rain
- dog mouse kangaroo cat elephant
- fridge car cooker typewriter bus
- horse taxi bicycle car bus
- Everest Mont Blanc Eiffel Tower tree
- Japan Kenya France Germany Norway
- champagne whisky Coca-Cola milk
- sofa chair table wardrobe
Now make your own questions about these:
10.shirt raincoat skirt shoe belt 11.basketball football tennis swimming jogging 12.the USA Russia China Norway Ghana 13.blue yellow red green black 14.doctor teacher dentist shop assistant footballer 15.cheese carrot potato ice cream apple 16.arm head face eyes feet 17.get up wake up have lunch study go to bed 18.London Paris New York Hong Kong Cairo 19.kitchen living-room toilet garage hall
THE NIGHT THE MARTIANS LANDED
The evening of October 30th, 1938, was just like any other quiet Sunday night to most of the people of America. Many families were at home reading the papers or contentedly listening to the radio. There were two programmes that night which attracted large audiences. One was a comedy and the other a play produced by the actor-writer Orson Welles. He was 10 presenting a dramatization of H.G. Wells's classic science-fiction novel "The War of the Worlds". The listeners prepared themselves for an hour of comfortable excitement but, after the opening announcement, the play did not start. Instead there was dance music. Then, just as people were beginning to wonder if something had gone wrong, an announcer broke in 15 with a dramatic "news-flash". In an excited voice, he said that a professor in an observatory had just noticed "some gas explosions on the planet of Mars". This news was followed by a stream of rapid on-the-spot broadcasts. These told the now uneasy listeners that "a metal space-ship containing Martians armed with death-rays" had landed near Princeton, New Jersey, "killing about 1,500 persons." The Martians had come to make war on the world. 20 The realism of the reporting convinced nearly everyone that the "invasion" really was taking place. By nine o'clock that evening, there was panic throughout the whole length and breadth of the United States. In New York City hundreds of families fled in terror from their flats and ran for safety to the parks. In San Francisco on the West Coast, citizens ran into the streets and searched the sky for the invaders. Some people, thinking they were under gas 25 attack, even wrapped wet towels and handkerchiefs round their heads. As the play progressed that night, Orson Wells was startled to see the studio control room full of police. They were alarmed about the growing panic which was blocking traffic and filling the hospitals with screaming and fainting women. They ordered that announcements should be made pointing out that it was only a radio play, not an actual news broadcast. The 30 message was given four times before the programmed ended, but it was not enough to calm the nationwide fear. Further announcements were made as late as midnight.
SCANNING
Club Méditérranée Tunisia
4th August Dear Mum and Dad,
Sit down before you read this, 'cos I've got the most amazing news! Do not panic: it's nothing terribly serious, only that I'm engaged, yes, really, truly engaged to be married! Her name
- my fiancée's name - is Sonia. It all happened in the bar at the Club. We just looked at each other and woosh! Love at first sight. Cupid has been late but sure in our case - 40 is not too late for love, anyway, is it? She's Swedish, and she can't speak English very well, but it doesn't matter: we understand each other pretty well, I can tell you. She's a receptionist in Stockholm, you see, so she knows a few words ('Can I help you, sir?', 'Sorry, madam, no rooms left unless previously booked' and all that hotel stuff) and I'm teaching her the rest. I'm sure you'll take to her. I'm bringing her over to London at the end of the holiday to meet you before she goes back to Sweden. I've invited her parents over for Christmas too, and I think she understands, but it's hard to tell sometimes. Can you send £200 for a diamond ring? They're very expensive over here, but I want to buy one as soon as possible so that we can have an enormous party and make it official. Lots and lots of love, Tony. ────────────────────────── Club Méditérranée Paris
4th August Dear sister,
Sit down before you read this, 'cos I've got the most amazing news! Do not panic: it's nothing terribly serious, only that I'm engaged, yes, really, truly engaged to be married! Her name
- my fiancée's name - is Rachel. It all happened in the bar at the Club. We just looked at each other and woosh! Love at first sight. Cupid has been late but sure in our case - 40 is not too late for love, anyway, is it? She's Greek, and she can't speak English very well, but it doesn't matter: we understand each other pretty well, I can tell you. She's a secretary in Athens, you see, so she knows a few words and I'm teaching her the rest. I'm sure you'll take to her. I'm bringing her over to London at the end of the holiday to meet you before she goes back to Sweden. I've invited her parents over for Christmas too, and I think she understands, but it's hard to tell sometimes. Can you send £2000 for a gold ring? They're very expensive over here, but I want to buy one as soon as possible so that we can have an enormous party and make it official. Lots and lots of love, Jack.
TOPIC 2: ...........................................................................
- How many members form the acrobats troupe? a. 8 b. 7 c. 10 d. 9
- How many persons in the troupe speak English? a. 8 b. 1 c. 7 d. 10
- When are they going to come back to their country? - In ... a. 1 week b. 2 weeks c. 3 weeks d. 1 month
TOPIC 3:
- Explain the expression intelligence cocktail used by Today newspaper
- Who is Robin?
TOPIC 4:
- How many motorists were given breath tests in London last Christmas? a. 1,000 b. 10,000 c. 100,000 d. 1,000,
- How many of these tests proved positive? a. all b. 500 c. 1,000 d. none
TOPIC 5:
- What is Selfridges? - The name of a ... a. shop b. street c. city d. country
TOPIC 6:
- What does the policy of Peterborough hospital consist of?
20.Mention some of the advantages this policy means.
SCHOOLS IN ENGLAND AND WALES
A foreign visitor to England finds English education hard to understand. This is because there is not just one educational system but a number of systems existing side by side. First of all we can divide the schools into three kinds according to whom they belong to. There are private schools; these are run as private profit-making businesses usually owned by 5 the headmaster. They are mostly for younger children. The parents pay fees. Secondly there are the public schools. Their name is misleading. In America the term "public school" means what it says -a school which is publicly owned and supported by the taxpayer. The English public schools are public in the sense that they are not privately owned by individuals but they are not owned by the government. They are independent being governed by 10 their own school committees. They charge fees but do not aim to make a profit. Some of them are connected with particular churches. About 6 % of English children go to either private or so-called public schools while the other 94 % go to the state schools. The name of the state schools is also a bit misleading because they do not come directly under the control of the central government. Each county and city has its own Local 15 Educational Authority which runs its own schools. Each authority is allowed a certain amount of freedom in the way it runs its schools. This means that there are variations between the different towns and countries. Scotland also has her own system which is different from that found in England and Wales. Many local education authorities follow a system dating back to 1944. There is a primary 20 school for six years from five to eleven. At eleven all children take an examination called the "11 plus" to decide which kind of secondary school they should go to. The most intelligent 25 % or so are selected for grammar school. These children nearly all stay for five years until they are sixteen and many stay on to seventeen, eighteen, or sometimes nineteen. These schools are called grammar schools because in the Middle Ages they spent most of their 25 time studying Latin grammar. Now, of course, they do many other subjects as well. At the end of their course they take a public examination called General Certificate of Education or G.C.E. for short. The other 75 % who do not get into the grammar school go to the secondary modern school. They do less advanced work and very few stay after they are sixteen. 30 Many towns and counties have gone over to a new kind of school called the comprehensive school. They have no "11 plus" examination. All the children go to the same school where there are different classes doing different kinds of courses but it is possible to change from one class to another. There is a lot of discussion going on among teachers, parents and politicians about the 35 advantages and disadvantages of the different types of schools. Some people feel that the state should take over the private and public schools and make them free for all, because it is unfair for the children of richer parents to get a better education than the others and so have a better chance of getting into universities and getting good jobs. Some would like to keep the grammar schools and secondary modern schools as they 40 are while others would like the whole country to change over to the comprehensive system. They argue that it is wrong to settle a child's future with a test at the age of eleven. It is wrong to test him and then, if he fails, say: "You are a failure; you'll never get to university." In a comprehensive school this does not happen. Everybody is given the chance to go as far as he can. 45 It is impossible to guess what kind of system England will have by the year
If you have lived in cities and have walked in the park on a summer afternoon, you have perhaps seen, blinking in the corner of his iron cage, a huge grotesque kind of monkey, a creature 5 with ugly, sagging, hairless skin below his eyes and a bright purple underbody. This monkey is a true monster. In the completeness of his ugliness he achieved a kind of perverted beauty. Children stopping before the cage are fascinated, men turn away with an air of disgust, and women linger on for a moment, trying perhaps to remember which one of their male acquaintances the thing in some faint way resembles. 10 Had you been in the earlier years of your life a citizen of the village of Winesburg, Ohio, there would have been for you no mystery in regard to the beast in his cage. "It is like Wash Williams," you would have said. "As he sits in the corner there, the beast is exactly like old Wash sitting on the grass in the station yard on a summer evening after he has closed his office for the 15 night."
Wash Williams, the telegraph operator in Winesburg, was the ugliest thing in town. His girth was immense, his neck thin, his legs feeble. He was dirty. Everything about him was unclean. Even the whites of his eyes looked soiled. 20 I go too fast. Not everything about Wash was unclean. He took care of his hands. His fingers were fat, but there was something sensitive and shapely in the hand that lay on the table by the instrument in the telegraph office. In his youth Wash Williams had been called the best telegraph operator in the state, and in spite of his degradement to the obscure office at 25 Winesburg, he was still proud of his ability.
Wash Williams did not associate with the men of the town in which he lived. "I'll have nothing to do with them," he said, looking with bleary eyes at the men who walked along the station platform past the telegraph office. Up along Main Street he went in the evening to Ed 30 Griffith's saloon, and after drinking unbelievable quantities of beer staggered off to his room in the New Willard House and to his bed for the night.
Wash Williams was a man of courage. A thing had happened to him that made him hate life, and he hated it whole-heartedly, with the abandon of a poet. First of all, he hated women. 35 "Bitches,"he called them. His feeling toward men was somewhat different. He pitied them. "Does not every man let his life be managed for him by some bitch or another?" he asked.
40 SHERWOOD ANDERSON, Winesburg, Ohio
To the woman of my dreams
5
Hello. My name is Charles. I am 39, 182 cm., 79 kg.,
reasonably good-looking, self-employed, in excellent health
and have blue eyes and brown hair. I am intelligent,
10 sensitive to the needs of others, intuitive, sincere, loyal and a
romanticist. I like people, theatre, music, sports, morning
walks, the outdoors, conversation and quiet, intimate
moments with a glass of wine in front of the fire.
15 If you are warm, loving, giving, very attractive - with a
clear complexion, thin - not over 58 kg., in good health, a
non-smoker, 26-32 years old, intelligent, have a good sense of
humour, unattached, come from a good home, able to read,
write and speak English, emotionally stable, would consider
20 living in Britain, and are looking for a permanent
relationship that could lead to a marriage, then this may be
the opportunity we have been looking for.
If you are out there and are reading this, don't be afraid.
25 Take a chance, you won't go wrong; it's worth the effort and
risk; I am real and these are my thoughts. I am not a
matchmaker, or crazy. I am just tired of the singles scene
and thought I would try the unconventional, which could lead
me to someone that I might otherwise never meet.
If you would like to meet me and can honestly say that I
have described you, then please write to me in English and
tell me all about yourself as I have done, and enclose a recent,
clear, accurate photograph of yourself along with your
35 address and telephone number. I expect to arrive in Spain
sometime in mid-March; I hope to meet you then, when I look
you up.
No matchmakers, friends or relatives - only replies from
40 interested women - please! My only response will be to
contact you when I arrive. I will only contact those who
Hallowe'en
October 31st is Hallowe'en, the night when 10 witches, the dead, and evil spirits return to Earth. It was originally a Celtic festival, The last day of October was their New Year's Eve and their Feast of the Dead. The Celts built fires on the hills to welcome the souls of the 15 dead back to their homes. In the ninth century, the Church made November 1st the Feast of All Saints and October 31st became the evening of All Saints, or all Hallows -Hallowe'en. 20
Hallowe'en was once thought to be the best time for predicting the future
- health, luck, and marriage. If a girl 25 wanted to know who her future husband would be, she would brush her hair in front of a mirror and hope to see his reflection. If she wanted to know the name of her future husband, 30 she peeled an apple and threw the peel over her left shoulder. The peel would fall in the shape of a letter, the initial of her future husband's first name. And if she wanted to dream of her future husband she put 35 her shoes beside the bed in the shape of the letter T. If someone wanted to know if they would have a lucky year, they put apples and a sixpence in a tub of water. If the person could extract either of them with his mouth (without 40 using his teeth), he or she would have a lucky year. This has become a game that children often play on Hallowe'en. Another game is often played in which the apples are tied with string and 45
suspended above the children. They then have to eat them, blindfolded, with their hands behind their backs.
50 Immigrants to the United States introduced their own customs. Young men and boys often broke windows and damaged property on Hallowe'en. This became the game "trick or 55 treat" that children play in America today. They go from house to house, dressed as witches, ghosts, skeletons and pirates, calling "trick or treat". Adults usually have some sweets 60 to give to the children (the "treat"). If they don't give them anything, the children will play a trick. The symbol of Hallowe'en is the pumpkin. The inside of the 65 pumpkin is extracted and the eyes, the nose and mouth of a demonic face cut out. A candle is then placed inside.
70 A final piece of advice. Shut all the windows and doors in your house on Hallowe'en. If a poltergeist gets in, it may never leave. And if you make a journey on Hallowe'en, make sure 75 you finish it before dark. If you can't, then carry a piece of bread with salt on it. This will protect you if you a meet a supernatural being. If you don't, then you might be taken to the other world!
RICHARD BRANSON
SECTION 1
- Which of these features define Richard Branson's personality? a. eccentric b. always dresses formally c. awkward d. risk taker e. typically British f. rich
- What world record does he hold?
- What relative place does his corporation have in Britain? a. 1st b. 2nd c. 3rd d. 4th e. 5th f. 6th
- Where is Mr Branson's office? a. in London b. in Manchester c. in Tokyo d. in New York e. in Liverpool f. Nowhere
- Is he a great accountant?
- What sport does he play in Oxfordshire at weekends?
Richard Branson's mother ...
- was a. an air-hostess b. a school teacher c. a professional tennis player d. the daughter of a rich family
- is over 60/70/80/90/100 years old
- When Branson was only four, his mother abandoned him several miles from home. Why?
SECTION 2
- How did Branson get his financial empire? a. he was very lucky b. he was a very good student c. he was a very bad student d. he won a lot of money at the lottery
- He left school when he was 25/15/20/5 years old.
- What was the name of the magazine he published?
- His headmaster at school predicted he would be a. a criminal or a millionaire b. very poor c. very good at university d. very bad at university
- According to R.Branson, all rich businessmen in Britain ... a. finished school with good marks b. finished school with bad marks c. left school early in their lives d. went to Cambridge or Oxford
- What is Branson's favourite cartoon?
- Is Branson crazy?
- John Brown is a butcher who always sells good stale bread. One morning last week as he was busy working in his office a lady came in and ordered six loaves and four apples. John had never had such a large order before and he suggested bringing the cakes and sandwiches to her house in his van. So at 10 a. m. after a hard day's work John put his overcoat and scarf and stepped out into the sunny June evening. As he approached his customer's tent John took the goods from the basket of his bicycle and walked up the front path to hand over the vegetables to the lady waiting in the reception hall.
- My neighbour John has just called in to say that he and his wife can come to my party next Wednesday. So we've arranged to meet outside the cinema at about six o'clock, The main film showing is the latest James Bond film, starring Sophia Loren, Marta Sánchez and George Bush. After the service, the two of us will probably go for a drink. It's a long time since I saw John and his wife, so I'm looking forward to an enjoyable Saturday evening with them.
- John Adams is an amateur detective who spends all his time trying to solve crimes. Yesterday, at about nine o'clock in the afternoon he saw his brother Joe walk up to a red car, get into it and ride off at a steady trot. Three days later, at exactly the same time he thought he saw the same thing. He couldn't be absolutely sure as it was already getting dark and the woman was holding an umbrella over her face to protect her from the fog. Later that day when Adams had observed several other suspicious people he walked to the next village and handed his report to the head waiter at New Scotland Yard.
- If you want a new car for the family then come along to our surgery and look at our latest discoveries. We have imported cars as well as a wide range produced in British kitchens. There are no vehicles here on display so just come along any time to see them. Alternatively you could phone and we'd be delighted to give you our catalogues personally. We are open from 3 a. m. - 7 a. m., seven days a year and are looking forward to buying from you the car you've been dreaming of.
5 THE AWFUL FATE OF MELPOMENUS JONES
10 Some people - not you nor I, because we are so awfully self-possessed - but some people, find great difficulty in saying good-bye when making a call or spending the evening. As the moment draws near when the visitor feels that he is fairly entitled to go away, he rises and says suddenly, 'Well, I think I...' Then the people say, 'Oh, must you go now? Surely it's early yet!' and a pitiful struggle follows. 15 I think the saddest case of this kind of thing that I ever knew was that of my poor friend Melpomenus Jones, a clergyman - such a dear young man and only twenty-three! He was too modest to tell a lie, and too religious to wish to appear rude. Now it happened that he went to call on some friends of his on the very first afternoon of his summer vacation. The next six weeks 20 were entirely his own - absolutely nothing to do. He chattered a while, drank two cups of tea, then prepared himself for the effort and said suddenly:
'Well, I think I...' But the lady of the house said, 'Oh, no! Mr. Jones, can't you really stay a little longer?' 25 Jones was always truthful. 'Oh, yes, of course, I - er - can stay.' 'Then please don't go.' He stayed. He drank eleven cups of tea. 'Well now,' he said shyly, 'I think I really...' 'You must go?' said the lady politely. 'I thought perhaps you could have stayed to dinner...' 30 'Oh well, so I could, you know,' Jones said, 'If ...' 'Then please stay, I'm sure my husband will be delighted.' 'All right,' he said feebly, 'I'll stay,' and he sank back into his chair, just full of tea and miserable.
35 Papa came home. They had dinner. All through the meal Jones sat planning to leave at eight-thirty. All the family wondered whether Mr. Jones was stupid and ill-tempered, or only stupid.
After dinner mama tried to 'draw him out', and showed him photographs. At eight-thirty 40 Jones had examined seventy-one photographs. There were about sixty-nine more that he hadn't. Jones rose, 'I must say good night now,' he pleaded.
'Say good night!' they said, 'why it's only half past eight! Have you anything to do?' 'Nothing,' he admitted, and muttered something about staying six weeks, and laughed 45 miserably.
Every moment he meant to take the plunge, but couldn't. Then papa began to get very tired of Jones and finally said, with irony, that Jones had better stay all night, they could make up a bed for him. Jones mistook his meaning and thanked him with tears in his eyes, and papa put Jones to bed in the spare room and cursed him heartily. 5 After breakfast next day, papa went off to his work in the city, and left Jones playing with the baby, brokenhearted. His nerve was utterly gone. When papa came home in the evening he was surprised and angry to find Jones still there. He thought to get rid of him with a joke, and said he thought he'd have to charge him for his board, he! he! The unhappy young man stared 10 wildly for a moment, then shook papa's hand, paid him a month's board in advance, and broke down and sobbed like a child.
In the days that followed he was moody and unapproachable. He lived, of course, entirely in the drawing-room, and the lack of air and exercise began to affect his health. He passed his 15 time in drinking tea and looking at the photographs. His mind was obviously failing. They carried him upstairs in a raging delirium of fever.
At length, after a month of agony, on the last day of his vacation, he passed away. They say that when the last moment came, he sat up in bed with a beautiful smile of confidence 20 playing upon his face, and said, 'Well - the angels are calling me; I'm afraid I really must go now. Good afternoon.' And the rushing of his spirit from its prison-house was as quick as a hunted cat passing over a garden fence.
25
by Stephen Leacock
