I am alone now. I am very young, and have no family. I can't get through it. I don't find meaning now, I don't know what to do. My older sister, my younger sister, my mother, my father, they are no longer with me. I lost them all in one punch, and I don't know what to do more. It's been several months and still can't help myself. I do my best in college and get good scores, but still I don't think it will serve me for nothing. I love my little sister Valerie so much. She was so beautiful and so little, and why does it have to be like this? At least I can talk more openly about this than before. I don't think anything cheered me as she did. All the life stress, all my work, people were over-working me and the fatigue was finally catching up with me, and my little sister was the only one who could make me smile again. I try to look up and get stronger, because that's what I am supposed to do in this situation, but I just feel so hopeless. Why did this happen? I wish I could talk with her more, and play with her. Whenever I enter my old house, I feel like there is someone there and run to the room, and I get really disappointed. I want to escape and just go live my final days on a cave, at least I would spend the rest of my life in a place I like, I always liked nature. I don't like my friends anymore, they are only a bother. If there would at least be someone that feels the same way I do, experienced the same I do, I would be a little glad. "Anton, they are here with you still!" They love you! "They are in your heart.etc, "It will make you stronger" "Get over with yourself you are a good person" this and that and I couldn't care less about it. I just want to be left out alone. I can't imagine my future anymore. I can't imagine myself growing older. If I grew older I would only be detestable and unhappy, serious and never.smiling, what point is there? If I could just talk to my little sister again. I'd give up the world for her.
